Everybody Knows there's a Party at the End of the World

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As the people started flooding in, I was having more and more of a good time. I felt like this was what you were supposed to do in college, not settle down yet. With Jeremy, everything I did I did for him. He didn't want me living in the dorms because he didn't want anyone else to live with me. He wanted to live with me. And while it was sweet of him to do that, I couldn't help but envy the rest of the people that did get to go out and have fun. They always talked about it during classes, it really made me left out. 

This was what a party was like. Loud music, lots of dirnks, and fun people dancing the night away. I smiled for a bit. This was what fun was like. 

Jack came up to me. "You're smiling," He winked.

"Oh shut up," I laughed. "I can smile, it's not against the law."

"True, but i didn't think you were going to have fun tonight. You know, considering-"

"Yeah I know." I cut him off. I didn't want to think about Jeremy tonight. Just the fact that I was in Baltimore with my favorite band member of my favorite band who actually knew my name. 

"So how is it going, do you like it so far?" Jack asked, interrupting my thoughts. 

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. I expected more famous people though."

"When there's so many fans in the mix, it's hard to spot the famous people hiding, you know?"

"Yeah I would have guessed that." I tried my best to remain calm and collected. I mean it's not every day you get to actually talk to your favorite person. Like a real human being. 

"Well I'm gonna go dance, you wanna come, or stay here?"

"I'll stay here I guess." I looked to the ground, messing with my feet. Could he tell I was blushing?

"Alright, see you around." He walked off. Well, shit. This was going to be hard. He's so damn attractive. I shook my head. No no, I shouldn't be thinking of things. Jeremy was my last. And I couldn't have anyone else in my head like that.

I walked off to find Marie. All these people were starting to get to me. "Marie!" I called for her. "Marie, where are you?" Amongst all the people, no one was listening. I saw people coming and going, people laughing, people smiling, no one watching what I was doing, no one watching me fall apart.

"Marie?" I couldn't see anymore, my vision was being blurred by my tears. Suddenly, I felt someone touch my shoulder. 

"Hey, Lizzy, is there anything wrong?" a blurred person asked me.

"No, I'm fine," I tell him. It was a male voice, so not Marie, I need Marie."Can you get me Marie?"

"Yeah of course," he said. I felt the weight of the place crush me. I wanted to have fun tonight, and this happens? I just wish I could actually enjooy things for once. 

"Lizzy?" Marie calls. "Lizzy what's wrong honey?"

"I'm fine I just need air, I need air."

She took me outside, and we sat on the bus stop bench. She was rubbing my back when the guys came out. Alex came up to us furst. "Is she okay?" he asked.

"Yeah she just needed some air. I think all the people were getting to her," Lizzy answered for me. 

"Alright that's good." I could tell Alex's voice was filled with worry and that he was the one who had found me. I looked at Jack, Rian, Zack who all had worrisome faces. "Let's go back to the party guys, she should be fine now. She probably just wants some space." They nodded in agreement and went back to the party. 

I started crying again. "What's wrong, sweetie," Marie coos. 

"I really wanted to have fun tonight. Of all the nights, tonight had to be the one where I have my freak out. Tonight where I am meeting the saviors of my life, finally had an actual talk with my favorite person and I just fuck it all up. Why does this fucking happen to me?!"

"It's not your fault, Lizzy. You're just now getting out when you had remained at home for a year, all these people just overwhelmed you. You'll be alright."

"I hope." We remained silent for a while. just breathing in the night Baltimore air. We must've been there for quite a long time, because people were crawling out of the party. Miraculously, I don't think the guys were bombarded by too many fans. Probably because most of the fans that would be crazy about that sort of thing weren't old enought to go to a night club yet. 

As people were coming out, I heard that signature laugh. Jack came out of the bar, and from what I could tell there's a blonde on his tail, following him. Guess I wasn't his date. He was joking. As he left, he waves goodbye to Marie and me. I was glad he was going to have a good time on his birthday. Who would want an emotional wreck with a dead boyfriend like me anyway.

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