Mistaken // Ryden

Chapter six

-3rd-

Brendon steps out of the bathroom in pajama pants and boxers. He walks downstairs, smiling excitedly at the heavenly smell of Ryan's food. Ryan begins to put sugar and honey in each cup, as well as two tea bags. The kettle boils and he waits for it to turn off so he can pour it. Brendon comes up from behind and wraps his arms around him, causing Ryan to smile and blush. 

"You're so warm," Brendon comments quietly.

"I feel freezing," Ryan says as he pours the water into the mugs. Brendon's right hand goes higher and feels Ryan's head, his left accidentally lowering down without him realizing. Ryan blushes but lets it happen, kind of hoping that Brendon will do more than barely touch him. 

"You're burning, Ry," Brendon says sadly, realizing that Ryan probably has a fever. His hand lowers very slightly and Ryan gasps quietly. He accidentally pours too much water in the cup, causing him to spill it on his hand. He jumps and puts the kettle down, biting his lip. Brendon grabs a tea towel and holds Ryan's hands. 

"Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine," he hurriedly says, and Brendon looks him in the eyes. 

"Are you sure?" He asks, and Ryan stumbles on his thoughts. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out, so he just nods. 

"Yeah," he eventually manages. Brendon stares at him cautiously, and they both can feel reminded of years ago. 

-11 years before, 2007-

The rings eventually stop and Ryan's voicemail plays once again. It beeps and Brendon speaks.

"Hey, Ry, we're getting really worried. Please... please call me back. I-I don't know what happened to cause you to just up and leave after the show, but I'm getting really worried and I miss you and need you here to tell me you're okay. I... I love you, Ry. Please call me," Brendon says, trying his best to not let tears form. He hangs up and rubs his eyes.

"Any word of him?" Jon asks as Brendon walks into the room. He shakes his head, putting his phone in his pocket.

"Now probably is the worst time to tell you, but it's eating me alive, and-" Spencer stops, and everyone looks at him. 

"What?" Jon asks when he realizes that he's not continuing. Brendon frowns slightly and Spencer feels guilt rise in his chest. Brendon loves Ryan to death, this is about to break him.

"Ryan's suicidal," he says quietly. Everyone's heart sinks. Brendon's shatters.

"What...?" Brendon asks, voice sad broken in a way that makes the other three's hearts sink again. Spencer looks at him, then looks away because he cannot handle the sad look in his glossy brown eyes. "N-No, what... wh-what do you mean?"

"He is really suicidal. Burns himself with a lighter, cuts when we're not looking, and recently I... stopped him from committing suicide." 

"How...? And when? I-I mean, how did he-" 

"Took a whole bunch of sleeping pills," Jon cuts in, and Brendon looks at him in shock, "you guys didn't really lose them, he took all of them. Didn't he?" Brendon looks at Spencer, expecting him to disagree because they lose things all the time, but Spencer nods and Brendon feels like he's choking. 

"He wasn't sick that time, you made him throw up," Brendon says quietly, and Spencer nods again. He remembers that, walking in on Ryan kneeled by the toilet and Spencer rubbing his back. Ryan wasn't sick. He was trying to kill himself. 

Zack, Spencer, and Jon exchange looks as they realize that Brendon's breaking in front of them. Of course, he's trying to keep it together. Ryan shakily knocks the door, causing all four boys to look over. Brendon stands up, walking over to it. He opens it and his eyes widen.

"I-"

"Oh my god," Brendon says as he pulls Ryan close. The other boys realize and jump up. They go to hug him but Ryan's fingers tighten their grip on Brendon's shirt and Spencer stops them all.

Brendon holds him tightly, silently crying. 

"Don't ever do that again," he whispers shakily, and Ryan tenses a bit. He looks at Spencer. Spencer mouths, 'I told them', and Ryan's heart sinks. 

"I didn't want-"

"I didn't have a choice. I thought you were dead, how on earth was I supposed to explain that I knew all this time if you really went out to kill yourself?" Spencer asks. 

"I was going to," Ryan says. Brendon's heart stings at those words. Brendon pulls away and looks into Ryan's eyes worriedly. Ryan's heart drops 10 levels and he swallows. He grabs Brendon's hand and leads them out of the room and down the hall to their room. He closes the door behind them and looks at Brendon.

"I want you to tell me the truth," he says, voice shaking. 

"What?" Brendon asks.

"You told me you love me in that voicemail, and I want you to tell me the truth, did you say that just to get me to come back?" He asks. Brendon steps forward and Ryan steps back.

"I love you more than anything, Ryan Ross," he says, and Ryan takes a deep breath. 

"And I love you more than anything, Brendon Urie," Ryan chokes out quietly. Brendon grabs him by his shirt, pulls him close, and connects their lips together. Ryan immediately kisses back, hands going to Brendon's hair. 

-Now-

The two stop and stare at each other, taking it all in. Brendon misses him. He fell in love all over again, and he has to seriously fight the urge to lean forward. Ryan does too. 

"Are you okay?" Brendon asks again quietly. Ryan nods. 

"I am now," he says, equally as quiet, and Brendon blushes. They move away and Brendon cleans up with another towel.

He's in love.

Now the real question, is who?