Salvation

Chapter 20 monster

"Tell me, aren't you scared that now they will torture James and find something against you? You don't look scared, at all."  I can imagine confusion written over his face but I didn't look up at him.

Not even once.

"Actually. ." I took a pause and get off his lap slowly and took a sit beside him. Our knees are touching again but his taller body still towers over me.

"I haven't... I mean we haven't done anything.. wrong... I mean... ' I run a hand through my hair trying to find the appropriate word.

"..anything illegal.." I added.

We took a long pause.

"But you are a gangster. " he exaggerated. I imagine him raising his one brow.

Stereotypes! !

"So? Yeah I'm a gangster.  And we do shoot or rob people. But it's just one person I. ...' I stop again. 

Why I'm so comfortable with opening up to him?

'What?' He lean towards me as he hold my hands in his palms and lift my head up to look into my eyes.

Please don't look  at me like this.

I have been trying to be strong from so long time that I fear I will began to cry any moment if he look at me with that adoration again.

I sigh. I hold his hand and very gently push them off.

"It's aryan. " I mumbles. I feared that he didn't hear but he did.

"What? I don't get it." He bring his hands up to my face again to make me look at him but change his idea next seconds.

I hesitated.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell. " he hold my hands and suddenly it feels so right. 

I look up at him. His eyes run over my face in concern and worry.

'I won't force you." He gently swipe away a tear which I never knew sliped away.

"Now take rest and..." I cut him in between.

"I only snatched deals that concern aryan. Only the deals which are important to him. Everytime when he was going to sign any deal with someone I used to snatch it away before him, so he won't get it. I used to buy weapons before him so he won't get them. Yes we rob, but only his clients. Yes we shoot people, but only his man and on legs or arms. To make them unable to get away not to kill them or sometime to defend us. Sending them back to him injured and letting him know that yes someone is more powerfull than him here and I can ruin his world if I want to, it gives me the satisfaction I always wanted. I knew his intentions from beginning. He is a pure devil. Human trafficking.  Bribes. He trade humans like candies. I was so blind before but I'm not now. He is the one who made me what I'm today. what I'm doing today is only just for him. To see him suffer.  To see him crumbling down to his feet. To see his business crumbling down before him on which he is so proud. I want to see him suffering as I did." my tears betrayed me and fall with no restrictions down on our entangled hands.

That's when I realise I was holding his hand so tightly and my knuckles are white now.

I sniff and free his hand and wipe away my tears.

I cried. I just cried again. I promised myself that I won't cry ever again. At least not because of aryan.

But why I'm even crying? He is the one who is wrong here. Not me.

I think I know why I'm crying.  Because I miss myself.  The self I used to be before he played his games. The self who was carefree. The self who can't even think of hurting anybody.

He made me a monster.

"Sanyukta." This is the first time he is calling me by my name other than cupcake.

And it sounds so damn perfect.

I look up.

"Why do you hate aryan so much?" His black orbs wander over my face again.

"Because he is a monster."

"Monster?" He questioned back and went in some deep thoughts.

He took a long pause.

Suddenly his face hardens, his jaw Clenched, his eyes stoned and he snapped his eyes down to me.

"Did he hurt you? Did he force himself on you before too. Tell me." His hands quickly grasp mine in his warmth and he looked angered and worried at the same time.

"He killed my baby."

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