What I Noticed Today

8. An imperfect

🔹 For Amulya, who is her own person🔹

Next chapter. Here. Now read xD

WHAT I NOTICED TODAY-

Yesterday, my best friend qualified for -as he says- "The most important exam of his life" and I couldn't be happier.

He's pulled all-nighters for this; he's almost failed a year because he didn't have enough attendance to attempt the finals because he was studying for this. I love him and I'm proud of him and he totally deserves all the good he's had coming to him.

That said- I also wrote this exam.

I didn't get in.

I didn't particularly want to get in. Nevertheless, it hurts. It hurts more than I expected. It hurts because we usually do exactly the same. It hurts because I often do just a shade better. It hurts because I'm not sure I do anymore.

That's not to say that I think he's stupid, not at all. He excels in almost everything he gets into. It just so happens that I have, not even the remotest interest in excelling at any of those things. So in my mind, I can continue to harbor the illusion that anything we both do, I do better.

Not anymore.

Thus, it is my honest observation that life sucks now.

Melodramatic much?

Well duh, I write as a passion, we live for the drama.

I'm being silly and petty, but everyone has these moments and don't you deny it. The fact is that everyone has at least that one person they are always better than. That one person is actually the most important person in your life because that person brings your hyperventilating self back to normal just by being there.

Whenever you begin to question your worth and your achievements, you only have to look at this person for you to feel a-okay again.

In theory, you can totally look at that person and say "Of course I believe that everyone is brilliant in their own way"

But let's face it, at that exact same instant in time, you're thinking but the way I'm brilliant is better.

it's just how we are as insecure teenagers; and that does not necessarily make you a bad person, or a mean person. But, if you go on about with a holier-than-thou attitude because of this thought, then you are a crap person.

Each and every single one of us has a compare-yourself-with-the-rest-of-the-world gene (I know; much science and much inglis. Shush).

It's how we evolve to be better; it's also how we stay sane. It is why your parents compare your marks with that other genius dude with the same name as yours and with your siblings and cousins and their friends' children and the neighbours' children and that random kid they see on the street with a school bag and -

Well, you get the idea.

In conclusion- it's okay to compare. Provided you keep in your mind the thought that being intelligent does not give you the right to be a shitty person.

Plus, sometimes stuff like this happens. Where your entire sense of self worth tilts because the person you thought you were better than one ups you in a very crucial moment and life honestly sucks.

At least until you beat said person again or find a new person you are better than.

So today, as I stared at my wall and thought about who I was and how good I was, I realized the reason we compare everything and everyone with everything and everyone else.

***

I'm so sorry I didn't upload yesterday! I really did try.

I know for a fact that most of you will associate the hell outta this chapter and that each of you has stuff to say about it. So go on and say it. Let's have a discussion in the comments. Vote if you felt the same way I did and i expect honesty people!

If y'all remember, I told you in my last chapter that I wanted you to send me things that my book inspired you to do. Be it art, other pieces, music, anything and that I'd show it on here .

This time, Imma show you this simple and perfect piece that my friend drew

It's amazing right?! so go on and give her some love and support!

Remember, send anything you've done to me right here on wattpad or on instagram @the_book_bender

have an amazing time!

- Pranav