Fallen(love)angel

middle school-Feast night (part one)

Things have changed in my home, in me, and in my mom. Not in a bad way though. I am now going through a punk phase, which is interesting and scary for some monsters. But, I'm the kind where I am not too "edgy," as they say now, and I dont wear any eye makeup. I'm the kind that wears flannels, has the band shirts, wears dark blue or black jeans, normal black and white shoes, and a nice, stylish haircut that doesnt cover my eye. {Oh ya, and I'm 5'4 in 6th grade}.

Me and my mom get along pretty well still. We dont cry as much about losing my dad, but we still miss him. We go to the movies, places to eat, amusement parks, lots of fun things. I'm glad me and her don't fight at all because it wouldn't be fair to her at all.

It's the first day of feasting break for me, and I cant wait to get into a "food coma." My mom even let me invite Greg to come over on Feat night since his parents will be gone before then. My mom told me that my grandma, my grandpa, my aunt and uncle are going to see me for the first time since they live on the other side from us.

I was helping my mom start cooking some of the food that would take the longest to make. We started off by cooking the intestines, organs, and some limbs from a pig. It's a traditional thing to eat a pig that way. We started to cut the pig open, cut the large and small intestines, took out the heart, nearly everything that ended up making the pig look empty inside. We put them in separate containers with labels on them so we dont under or over cook the food. Then, I grabbed the biggest and sharpest knife we had and started cutting the limbs off which took me about an hour and a half. I put them in a big container and labeled it "limbs."

Cooking with my mom this year has really helped me clear my mind and focus on cooking. I still think about him a few times, but I dont get sad about it anymore. I know he's okay. He isn't in pain anymore. I look at my mom and see that shes softly smiling. Like shes okay with how things are right now even though he isnt here anymore. Seeing her smile brings me some comfort and I smile.

After hours of getting organized with the food, we leave the kitchen and relax from everything we did. I went upstairs to my room to play my game 12 hours (basically a game version of the Purge: Election day if you've seen the movie. If not, I recommend watching it). I was at a part of the game where I had to go through a house to look for allies and to see if I would find any weapons laying around or ammo to help me. I managed to find a chainsaw, which is pretty helpful, but you'd have to get up kinda close to them to kill them and you'd sometimes end up getting shot or shanked in a couple of times in the process.

I made my way up the stairs to a house where it looked like the house was trashed a bit and the owner left. There was some blood on the floor and a bloody hand print on the wall next to the door. I made it up to the stairs and a fat guy with a chainsaw as well jumps out from the side. The chainsaw roared loudly that I could barely hear the man's psychotic laughter. "OH SHIT!!!" I yell and flinch so hard that I drop my control, I gasp and and quickly get. I start to fight the pig-man as if I was going to die in real life if my character died. I was slowly leaning closer and closer to the screen, pushing down on the buttons so hard that you'd think they would end up being stuck in. I killed him and let out a huge sigh of relief. I was so tensed up that I paused the game and laid down from how comfortable it felt when the tension went away. I laid there and smiled in victory softly. "Thank god that fatass didn't kill me." I sit up and continue playing. I went to all the doors to see if I could go in but most of them were locked. I was able to go in one room where there was a man sitting in the left corner of the room holding a gun. I walked up to him and some dialog came on.

After 3 hours of playing my game, my mom called me down to help her with the food again. I checked the time and it was 8:46 pm. I decided to save my game, turn it off, and go help my mom. After an hour of cooking and putting some of the food away, I drag myself back upstairs, tired from walking back and forth, stirring, cutting, and lifting a couple of heavy pots filled with water. I collapse on my bed, let out a heavy sigh of relief and groans softly, feeling a wave of lightness and relaxation throughout my body from head to toe. I checked the time and it was 9:55pm. I covered myself with my black blanket before drifting off to sleep.

While I was falling asleep, I remembered seeing the most beautiful thing last year on Sugar day. I wish I can live that moment again. Or to freeze time so I can stare at the beauty for as long as I want. I'd do anything to have it. Damn, I'm getting cravings for it now..