BTS Oneshots

Who's That Gurl?

This is a kind of NamHope soo if u guyz r Namjin then well sorry and dont read. I just saw a fun fact where if Namjoon were to choose who to date he'd do it with Hoseok since he's like the mom dnt judge it's a fun fact

"What?" Yoongi asked. "So to make it short, you want us to find you someone who'd agree to be your fake lover just so you can get rid of this stalker?"

Namjoon nods vigorously. "Yes hyung. She's driving me crazy! And not in a good way. In the way where you're always on your guard and can you believe I only got three hours of sleep last night?" He grabs his hair and tugs, eyes wide with something akin to paranoia.

"Yes I can," pipes Tae. His leader's big eyes turn to him. "But please calm down. We're not getting anywhere with you overthinking."

"I'm not."

Taehyung doesn't believe that and so goes over to him to rub his awfully tense shoulders. He tries to work out the kinks and knots that surround his inner shoulders. He massages upward to his neck, finding it tight as well.

As he starts to put pressure he huffs "Man hyung you're so tense! Have you been getting enough rest lately?"

The other sighs. "No Tae. I haven't. It's this crazy fan. I know she loves us but this is going overboard. Who climbs walls to take a picture?!"

"Spider-Man," jokes Jungkook. Jimin punches him on the shoulder. He punches back. And the fight begins.

A sleepy Hobi enters the picture. Yoongi eyes him for a moment with boredom, till an idea clicks into place. A wide grin stretches his thin lips and Jungkook is first to notice.

"Hyung? What're you thinking?"

Yoongi tries to play it cool and act like no sudden realization came to him. He sits comfortably in his chair. "Oh nothing. Just something to help Joon here with his crazy fan problem."

With that, he's got his attention. Taehyung stops, curiosity caught as well. The other two halt in their fight to listen in. Hobi merely yawns and slumps beside Jimin, still out of it.

"You've got your actor Namjoon." Yoongi smugly grins, and he sees the confusion on the leader's face. He gestures quietly with his eyes, and being the smart person he is, Namjoon immediately caught on. His mouth opens to refuse but he shuts up with the warning glare shot at him.

The younger ones honestly don't have a clue since their eyes dart from the leader to the rapper. It's not fair; they believe that they deserve to be let in on the secret too. They believe that the older hyungs can't keep ignoring them like this.

"Hyung can you accompany me outside?" asks Namjoon, standing.

Yoongi gladly accepts, telling the kids to behave as they wait for Jin. The maknaes have a second of thinking to disobey, but a piercing eye from the second eldest makes them sit quietly and wait patiently, just as they were told. Hoseok was drooling on the sofa by now, back asleep.

The door is closed shut and Namjoon falls on the swivel chair with a heavy sigh. The other rapper follows his example but is more quiet in sitting down.

"You want Hobi-hyung to be my fake lover?"

"Correction: I want him to act as your girlfriend."

The leader's eyes pop at the revelation. "What?!" He was kind of thinking more on the lines that Hobi would still be a guy, but he'd act as his lover since, well he supported LGBT.

"Tone down your voice kid."

He looks down, a little ashamed. "Sorry hyung." He meets eyes with him again. "But you want him to go through some kind of make-over to show to the public?"