Land of the Blades

32. Dulled

—I see... —I said as I sat on one of the nearby tables and held my head with my hands.

My Ghost, the one who had been supporting me without asking anything in exchange, had been taken away while I was sleeping, all for my stupid hubris. I should've feel devastated, furious, or even just cry uncontrollably, but I didn't. All I could feel was numbness, and that's what was making me angrier, or at least I should feel that way. I deduced that Lapis' head was filtering my emotions and keeping me in control, something that I both cursed and thanked him for. If I had lost it, I might have impaled "Ghost" as I did to his outer layer so many years ago.

—How did it happen? —I asked.

—It... it wasn't your fault —was the reply of "Ghost".

I didn't wanted to ask for more details, as it was obvious it was still something painful for him. But he had told me enough with those words, Ghost probably felt in the same trap I did. They probably even used my former head to lure him. Rutile made a couple more test on me while I looked deep into a corner of the room, trying to not think too much. Both "Ghost" and Red Beryl had left us, the former to tell everyone that I wasn't sleeping anymore, and the later went to bring me some clothes, as I was still only using my sleeping robe.

To my surprise, when Red Beryl came back he was carrying the last clothes he had made for me, the ones that I used while holding the title of "leader", still in pristine conditions. I thanked him, as it should have been a lot of work to avoid it being damaged after all this time. The red cloth belt was missing, but I didn't mentioned it. I started putting it on, as I had grown accustomed to it even if I only wore it for some months, but I stopped halfway through.

—I don't think I should keep using this —I said.

—Huh? What is wrong? It must still fit you.

—It's not that, but this is what I used when I acted as the leader. It has been a hundred and two years since that...

—Nobody has used it —Rutile said—, and nobody has become our leader. We just... kept doing what you told us.

—Sometimes we even went to visit you and talk to you when we needed advice, even if you were still asleep it was somehow reassuring—Red Beryl admitted, a bit embarrassed.

I couldn't fully understand why they would seek me instead of Sensei. During those months before I lost my head, they keep insisting on sleeping near me, so I guess they became accustomed to rely on me. I think Jade once mentioned I was more approachable and easy to understand. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heels clicking against the floor with haste, until they stopped right behind me.

—Is it true that you are Phosphophyllite? —a familiar voice asked.

I turned around and looked at the person in front of me with wide eyes.

—Antarc... —I closed my eyes, smiled, and extended my eyes to my sides— Yes, it is truly me, come!

—With pleasure! —he said, and he punched me on the face, as I was expecting.

The impact threw me on the floor and made me spit some of my alloy, but it didn't even broke Lapis' skin. It also didn't broke Antarc's arm, which was what surprised me the most.

—You... held back a lot... —I said, getting on my feet.

—I have had more than a hundred years to cool my anger, but I still haven't forgotten that you let Sensei get hurt.

—Hahaha... —I badly imitated a laugh—, wait, is Sensei still...

—He is still damaged... —"Ghost" said. Unlike his outer layer, I had felt him coming back into the room.