Lullaby For The Sadist {ManxMan} {Radish Fiction)

Epilogue ~ Part One

{Epilogue} ~ Part One

"Ha, you getting out today, Stone?" The guard asks me. I look away from my book to see him leaning against the wall of my cell.

"Just waiting on the paperwork to clear," I say. He nods and walks off to check on someone else. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, but I'm also worried. I left Angel everything he would need to survive and be comfortable, but what if something happened? Four years is a long time to wait for someone you only knew a year and a half.

Of course, he talks to me on the phone for a few minutes, and every other Friday he comes to see me for twenty minutes. Twenty minutes to talk, is not enough though. Especially when you can't touch. At this point though, four years later and he still comes every other Friday, I would be surprised if he wasn't seeing someone else.

I only wish I could have told him what I did. I did it for him, for us. I only hope he can understand that.

It may have only been four years, but I feel like it's been an eternity. An eternity stuck scrubbing toilets, going to GED classes, and looking at these sickening white walls. Not even white anymore, a dirty white never to become pristine again. Sticky cheap plastic-like gray floors, they look like the cement that covered the basement of my old home. That floor always seemed to have a film of blood, piss, beer and vomit on it.

Four years going in and out of solitary for the sole purpose of protection. I couldn't join a prison gang, the only reason I got four years instead of five is that of good behavior, and joining a gang when that was the reason I'm in here was not a good idea.

Four years of going over everything I did, watching myself shoot people, stab people. The feel of their warm blood flowing down my hand, the life leaving their eyes. Watching people shoot up an overdose, selling people that which killed them.

I beat my best friend, my boss, the man I looked up to, beating my angel, it haunts me to this day.

The worst part is that I didn't care, and only when Ángel came into my life did I realize how wrong it was. To kill people, to watch them die on my floor, in my house, watch women being raped so they could join, kids get beat, doing drugs. Now looking back I wonder how I could have been so cold, so heartless.

Was it because I grew up only knowing that? Or was I just that sadistic that I didn't care that these kids were being killed in front of me, by me.

It's only a miracle I destroyed all evidence linking me to those deaths, or I would surely spend the rest of my life in here. It's a miracle I could make a plea deal. I still remember going into that police station, I was sure they would arrest me then and there.

Sweat runs down my neck, I feel my body trembling against my will. I clasp the cold metal in my hand and pull the glass door open. I walk across the white tile to the window made of bulletproof glass, some sort of wire in between the two panes of glass in case someone does break the window. The man at the desk looks up from his pile of paperwork to acknowledge my presence.

"What do you need today, sir?" He only asks this as a formality, he doesn't care. He doesn't know who I am, he thinks I'm paying a parking ticket, I'm sure. He doesn't know the amount of blood that's on my hands, doesn't know I'm among the top five people the police have been trying to find evidence against. Surely, if he knew, he would call his captain.

"I'm the leader of Segadores Cornesi and I have information to take down our entire operation. I'll tell you anything you want to know but I need a plea deal." I say. I know he doesn't believe me, but the curiosity is clear on his face. He doesn't say anything to me, instead he picks up a landline and calls someone.