Paint You Wings // Ashton Irwin [au]

Thirty

Ashton's POV

The entire apartment is quiet except for the noise coming from the television in the living room that we forgot to turn off, the rotating of the ceiling fan blades, and the rhythmic sound of Emilia's breathing as she sleeps against me.

Lying here, holding her—it is the most tranquil feeling. Nothing matters right now, nothing except me and her. If I could stay like this with her pressed against me, her arms holding tightly around my waist, I would bend over backwards at the chance. In the few times that I have held her, the world around me dissipates, leaving me in pure ecstasy.

I adjust my arm and pull it out from under Emilia's body. After having it in that position for so long, my arm has become numb. She doesn't move an inch as I stretch my arm out and circle it around in the air, slowly regaining the feeling back. Instead of placing it back under her, I slowly move onto my side, careful not to let her head drop flat onto the mattress as I shift away from her.

The loss of her contact is unfortunate, but I can't allow myself to stay like that or else I'll fall asleep with her. I don't think Julia nor will the guys appreciate it if I say that I slept with Emilia on our first date (even though I don't mean sex), so I avoid any chance of that. Sex is probably the furthest thing from my mind. I can't say that I've never had sexual thoughts about Emmie because I have, but I never act upon them. It's been a while since I've had any, but I'm not really complaining. I don't even want to bring up sex with her because, yeah, Emmie is okay with the simple hand touches and me holding her, but I don't know how she will react on an intimate level. We'll just have to take it one step at a time.

I prop my head up with my hand and lie next to her, watching her peaceful expression as she sleeps soundly. She's so innocent, so child-like. I sound like such a creeper right now, but it's the only way to describe her.

When she told me more about her parents, I wasn't expecting them to be so much like...well, me. Their personalities match mine and they would do anything to make Emmie smile just like I do. We keep her happy and do all that we can to make sure no harm comes to her. Even though she no longer has her biological family with her, she has gained a new family: Julia, Michael, Calum, Luke, and me. This new family is small and we may not fill the gap from the loss of her parents, but we damn will try to be what she needs.

I continue to be the creep that I am until I hear the hinges squeak from the opening and closing of the front door. Light footsteps walk down the hallway and stop at Emilia's bedroom door. Julia pushes it open slightly and peaks her head into the dark room, looking around to see where we are. I sit up, putting as little pressure on the mattress as I can, and look over to Julia who is expressionless. She has never looked at me like that, and I can't help but think that I did something wrong.

Julia nods her head in the direction of the living room. She turns and walks back into the space and I follow quietly behind her, shutting Emmie's door on my way out. Her eyes soften when she looks at me and she sighs. "It's going to take some getting used to seeing you in Emmie's room since the last time I found her alone with a guy, he almost raped her," she says.

"You know I—" I start.

"—would never do that. I know. That's why I said it's going to take some getting used to," Julia says, finishing my sentence for me. She covers her mouth with her hand, letting out a long yawn. "I'm like a mother hen; I have to protect my chick," she smiles tiredly earning a smile in return from me.

"I should probably get going," I tell her. "It's late and I know you're tired and I also know that once Emmie's out, she's out cold."

Julia chuckles and unzips the oversized black jean jacket that drapes over her shoulders. I know I've seen that jacket somewhere. "Yeah, don't take it personally that she fell asleep on your date," she says. "She probably would have fallen asleep even if it wasn't a date."