Love and Other Diseases (bxb)

Chapter Two

I managed to lose Ben in the struggle of getting to my locker. The hallway was filled with a crowd of students shoving their way through as if their lives depended on it. I made my way to my locker and grabbed what I needed for statistics.

I found Ben again once I made it to the classroom. He gave me a grin and I plopped down beside him with a nod.

Ms. Nelson began to write problems on the board and I groaned. Ms. Nelson glared and called me rude. Oh well.

It was a long fifty minutes.

Ben spent all of statistics making small paper boats with his notebook paper, and the second the class was over he dumped them on my head.

Good thing everyone was busy grabbing their things and running like Satan, (or, I suppose, Blake Beckson) was behind them.

"Why." I looked mournfully at my lap, which now held a handful of pretty origami boats.

"I have an idea," Ben said.

"...But why."

"Listen to me Jake. I have a great idea. You know how you're like emotionally constipated and kind of awkward?" he asked me. He blinked.

Wow.

He had very long eyelashes.

"I suppose."

"And how you talk weird?"

"...Yes?"

"Well, I think I can help refine you so that you're the perfect gay boyfriend for Blake," Ben said. "I've been doing some research—"

"Oh God."

"—and I learned a little bit. I think I can be your wingman. Like, you know in those gay fanfics, with the obnoxious white girl who like oversteps boundaries and shit? That's me, 'cept I'm black and charming."

Wow, that was a lot to process. "Did you just come out as gay?"

"What, no—what the fuck, guy?"

"Well, you've done research on homosexuals and read stories about—"

"Alright, fuck off man, alright? Good. Back to your gay crush on Blake." Ben cracked his knuckles. "I pretty much got this shit down pat. You're like the top, right? Because you're all tall and strong and shit. And Blake is totally the bottom— isn't that like the uke? Yeah, so—"

Ah. No thank you. No, I didn't like this conversation. I grabbed my backpack and walked away.

"Jake, oh Jesus, slow down! Come back!"

Did people give us strange looks as I walked to class and Ben trailed behind me whining? Yes, they did. Including Blake, who was leaning up against his locker next to a girl.

Rude.

...The look was rude, not being near a girl. Being near a girl was totally fine. Cliché and typical straight guy of him, but still, you know, acceptable.

"Jaaaaake, come baaaaack!"

Ugh. Ben.

"Fine, what?" It was nice that we stopped next to my locker too, so I could pull out the books I needed for after my free period.

"I have a plan for your man!" Ben whispered. He even got up on his tippy toes to help himself out.

"You're so cute and small," I told him. He looked at me like I'd said the most offensive thing on Earth.

"Fuck you Jake, I'm trying to be a good friend here. Plus, so weird when you say stuff like that with no expression on your face. Listen to me—I'm gonna talk to Blake, yeah? I'm just gonna be like, 'Hey! Sorry my man hates you, how do you feel about him?' You know? Subtle."