Love and Other Diseases (bxb)

Chapter Twenty

"Alright, dude, will you be my boyfriend after this date?" Blake asked, borderline whining. "We kissed, we problem-solved, and we even fought for the first time. We're ready."

I stared at the breakfast place like it had the answers to all of my problems. "...Maybe."

"Dude! You were even emotionally vulnerable," Blake sighed. He ran a hand through his brown hair in frustration. "You're seriously backing out now?"

I wanted Blake to be my boyfriend. I knew that in my heart.

But still, it was hard to be so accepting! For one, I'd never had a boyfriend. But it was also Blake the snake we were talking about!

...Okay, no, I liked Blake a lot. That wasn't a reason. Old habits die hard.

"I didn't like being emotionally vulnerable," I muttered. "I was jealous because of Alana, jealous because of Gabe, guilty because of how I treated you, but hurt that you pushed me away...that's a lot of emotions at once, Beckson! Too many."

Blake pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dude, if you're disinterested in feeling emotions, we're gonna have to turn these dates into therapy sessions."

In past experiences, or really, one past experience, I had not enjoyed Therapist Blake™.

"No thank you, I'll feel emotion," I promised. "Let's just go on in."

Finally, after our twenty minute long conversation, we entered the diner. It was filled with old people and the smell of pancakes, two of my least favorite things.

And yet, I held Blake's hand and the whole experience wasn't so negative.

I still had to complain though. Complaints were my life energy.

"I hate pancakes," I muttered. "...And old people."

Blake took a look around. "So this is not the place for you, dude. No worries, we'll order eggs or something."

An old lady walked up to us with a smile. ...Wait, this was a familiar old lady. "Nancy?" I asked. "From our neighborhood?"

She was the one with the trash can. And the cookies.

Nancy brightened. "Oh, hello boys! I'm here to get you two seated. Are you out on a little date today?"

We both were silent for a few seconds before I answered, "Yes. In fact, this date determines if we'll be boyfriends."

Nancy wrinkled her nose. "Well, that's a very non-traditional way of doing things. Shouldn't coming together be...natural?"

Blake rolled his eyes. "This is Jake we're talking about. I'm just lucky that this morning isn't a test of our conversational compatibility or something."

Rude.

Fair, but rude.

Nancy laughed and guided us to a table. "Well, here you are." She winked. "I hope the date goes well."

I shuttered after she walked away. "That was a lot of old person all at once. Gross."

"So we need to talk about yesterday," Blake blurted out.

I did not want to reflect on my moment of assholery. "I'd rather we didn't." At Blake's look, I gave in. "What specifically do you want to talk about?"

Blake looked around and then leaned in. "Okay, so I have some clarifying questions. One, you're a virgin?"

"Obviously."

"Okay, cool. I'm a butt virgin." The worst part about that sentence was how sincerely Blake said it. "So...you said yesterday that you want me to become important--"

"No, you are important," I added. "I just meant that I want us to be official before we go...exposing ourselves like that. Physically and emotionally."

Blake rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. Got it. But you said that you want me to become important. Does that mean that you want to have sex with me eventually?"

This was a dangerous question.

Because on one hand, no shit I wanted to have sex with Blake. Blake was sex on legs. He was, as he once mentioned, exactly what I wanted in a man physically.

But on the other hand, part of me expected Straight Blake™ to come back and be revolted at the idea of sex with me.

I wiggled in my chair. "Well. I want to...you should know this, I want to be your boyfriend. Eventually. And if that were to happen, hypothetically, we'd have hypothetical sex, right?"

Blake deadpanned. "Hot."

This was the worst. "Don't be sarcastic, you're the one mentioning awkward topics. You're lucky I'm not judging our conversational compatibility."

Blake leaned in even further. "I'm just saying--"

Nancy came back to take our drink order. I tried not to roll my eyes. We ordered our drinks.

Blake leaned in again. "Dude, I want us to date too. And I just needed to know that you'd want to have sex with me before that, because I have every intention of having sex with you."

Even though it was the world's most uncomfortable breakfast topic, I couldn't help but feel a little turned on at that. And, partially, a little wooed.

"Aren't we jumping a little bit into the future, though?" I asked, trying to backtrack away from the conversation and the weird emotions it gave me. "I mean, we aren't even dating."

Blake glared at me, green eyes determined, and he leaned in for a kiss. And I stopped saying whatever I was saying, because Blake wanting a kiss was far more important.

We pulled away, only slightly. "Says the guy who wanted to make sure we were able to problem solve."

"That's important!"

"That's excessive," Blake snorted. "Besides, we will be dating. Today. And then we'll go to prom together in the spring. Does that sound like a plan?"

I was blushing for sure. This was humiliating. "You're really that certain?"

Blake nodded.

And I was scared, for sure, but I wanted to date him so badly that it didn't matter. All my insecurities about Alana or Gabe, or anyone else who saw Blake as attractive, disappeared. My worries about emotional vulnerability did as well. Any thoughts of Blake suddenly turning back into Straight Blake™ went away in a hurry as he leaned in to kiss me again.

"Well, screw it," I decided. "I want you to be my boyfriend, Blake the snake. I think you're cute now, unlike before."

Blake shook his head, half-amused. "Have I ever told you that you're romantic? Geez. I want to be your boyfriend, even if you're terrible at compliments."

We kissed and Nancy cooed.