Proud In Life

Chapter 11: Believe It

  He didn't know how long he had been in bed for, all he knew was that the fog was clearing and he knew he'd have the strength to get up again soon. The night before Mickey had wrapped him up in his arms and Ian, while uncomfortable, found that it didn't make his skin feel like it was burning. Then his fiancee had said all of those things.

  That night had been the first where Mickey had fallen asleep spooning Ian and Ian had been so, so grateful for the human contact for the first time since his depression set in. Normally when Ian was well he was the big spoon but last night with Mickey curled around him he felt safe and warm... he needed it. When he woke up the next morning and Mickey was still there, breath ghosting over the back of his neck, he found that he could breath freely for the first time in days. 

  Ian wasn't an idiot, he knew that it was Mickey that pulled him out of his head. Mickey and the meds. But mostly Mickey. Mickey who hadn't given up on him. He was still there... after all of that shit show, how he had yelled at him and flinched away from his touch. Mickey who had dragged him from bed kicking and screaming to make sure that he was clean and could piss. The man who had made him food that he refused every time and gave him water and meds and love.

  The red head found himself shaking with silent tears then. He couldn't believe it, how much Mickey must love him. Looking down he could see the tattooed knuckles over his ribs, grip firm even as Mickey slept. He couldn't believe it. The feel of his fiancee behind him, sold and real and safe... Mickey. Ian found himself struggling to breath as he tried to stifle the sounds but even then his body moving must have woken the other because he felt Mickey shift behind him and groan.

  "Hey, hey, you're okay," Mickey soothed straight away, voice gravely with sleep, his hand began to rub softly up and down Ian's side.

  Instead of saying anything, Ian flipped over and buried his head in his fiancee's chest. His fists balled in Mickey's shirt with more strength than he'd had in days and he just sobbed. The man had just woken up and the moment he realised Ian was crying he tried to make it better- this before he was even fully conscious. God he loved him so much.

  "Thank you Mick, thank you so much. God I love you. I love you so much. Thank you. God... oh God thank you so much. I want you with me till the end. I'll be here till the end. I promise Mick, I promise. Please... God I love you. Thank you," Ian sobbed, moving his head up so he said the words into the skin of his love's neck.

  "Hey, hey Ian you don't need to thank me. You help the people you love and you stand by them. I didn't do anything more than anyone else that loved you would," Mickey replied into Ian's hair.

  "But you did," Ian breathed out, pulling away to look at Mickey dead on, "anyone else would have just put me into a nuthouse. It's what my family would have done."

  "Screw your family Ian. Fuck 'em you hear. I ain't ever putting you in hospital for this if I can help it okay," Mickey told him sincerely gripping the sides of Ian's face in his hands.

  For a long moment the two just stared at each other. Mickey was looking at Ian in awe as if he couldn't believe that this was happening, to be honest Ian didn't blame him, his poor thug was probably loosing hope and faith in him. For his part though Ian could only study the face of the only person that had ever truly loved and understood him. He had to take in the eyes- a glorious blue that showed what Mickey was really feeling even when he tried to hide-  his cheekbones, chin covered in a light shadowing of stubble and his lips... full and- he knew- soft. It felt like he hadn't seen Mickey in years, hadn't kissed him either so that's what he did.

  They came together and the kiss wasn't heated, wasn't going to lead anywhere. Instead the pair tried to conveyed just how important the other was to them through it. It was soft and slow and so full of love that Ian found that he had tears running down his face once more. Mickey was here even after this. He was going to stay with Ian and love him no matter.

  "Don't need my family. Got you and Yev and that maybe other kid and Yev's kids in the future," Ian smiled through the tears after he broke away, remembering Mickey's ramblings from the day before.

  "Ah you were listening you dork. You always listen to the sappy shit," Mickey grinned back, he had his own tear tracks running down that perfect pale skin.

  "Yeah well it's always particularly funny when it comes from you," Ian stuck his tongue out at Mickey.

  Next thing they knew the pair was wrestling, sheets getting tangled around them as they laughed and played. Ian soon flopped back with Mickey leaning over him, admitting defeat still tired from his episode. He could only smile up at the other, their chests heaving and both grinning before Mickey dipped down to place a chaste kiss against Ian's lips.

  "I can't wait to be a Milkovich," Ian breathed against Mickey's cheek as the man leaned down slightly so nuzzle sweetly into the side of Ian's face.

  "Yeah?" Mickey replied, pulling back to stare down at him before he collapsed down on the bed next to him.

  Ian twisted round so he was lying on his side and brought his hand up to stroke down over the stubble on his fiancee's jaw as they watched each other.

  "Still want to find a new job, just don't know what I want to do now," Ian confessed sadly.

  "Fuck off man, no. You shouldn't just lie down and let those stuck up shits walk all over you. They can't fucking fire you for a genetic illness. Ain't right man. Goes against our American rights and all that shit," Mickey replied firmly, moving onto his side also so that he was directly facing Ian.

  "Yeah? Think I can do that?" Ian asked uncertain.

  "Know it. You're such a stubborn ass you can get anything you put your mind to," Mickey confirmed.

  "Yeah... got you," Ian grinned, running his fingers gently through Mickey's hair.

  "Yeah you did. Tell you what we've not reorganised this wedding shit. I say as soon as you've got your job back we go book and get hitched. Have you, me and Yev there. Our little family," Mickey grinned.

  "Well we need to invite Debbie. She's excited about this, almost as much as us, plus I don't think a baby will count as a witness," Ian added.

  "Yeah... Goddamn you Gallaghers seem to put all of the non-asshole genes in your ginger hair," Mickey shook his head with a teasing smile.

  "Damn right," Ian grinned back before yawning.

  "Tired?" Mickey asked, suddenly in caring mode making Ian's heart melt.

  "Yeah, this um this stuff it... it makes me tired for a bit after. Really want a shower before any more sleep though. I'm gross," Ian replied.

  "Can agree there," Mickey snorted.

  Ian grinned again and pushed at his chest playfully before slowly sitting up. His head spun and he had to take his time as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood shakily. Taking a deep breath he pushed away from the bed entirely and started to make his way over to the bathroom when he felt an arm on his elbow and turned to see Mickey.

  "You okay man?" he asked.

  "Bit weak," Ian confessed.

  "Want me to come with you?"

  "Please."

  So they got in the shower together and for the first time ever that they had done that it wasn't about sex. The warm water ran down over them and they stood close, so close they were pretty much the same person. Ian leaned into Mickey's hands as he massaged shampoo into his scalp while Ian rubbed soap into the brunette's chest and pressed soft kisses to his shoulder. The whole thing was tender and loving, it was then with them together like that that it all really hit Ian. Mickey was staying. He wasn't going anywhere because he didn't see Ian as a failure and he didn't blame Ian for his disease. He was going to be with Ian as his husband and his family. Forever.