Falling From Grace

What Did I Just Do?

Grace was on the couch, with a bowl of popcorn, watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, when Randy came into the room with two big books

It had been 2 weeks since their 1 year anniversary and true to his word, the day after their anniversary passed, he began planning the wedding, he sat down and she put her feet on his lap and comtinued eating her popcorn and watching TV when he opened his book

"So I was thinking we get married in the cathedral and then have the reception at a nice, classy dance club," he said and she didn't reply, just kept looking at the TV

"Or how about we get married on a field and have the reception at the dance club?" He asked and looked at her, she didn't have a reaction

"Which one do you prefer?" He asked and she shrugged

"Just do whatever makes you happy," she said, keeping her eyes on the TV, Randy looked at her

"Grace," he said and she hummed in acknowledgement but didn't look at him

"Do you even care?" He asked her, eyebrows creasing and Grace shrugged again and Randy slammed the book closed

"For fuck's sake Grace, you're not even helping me plan our wedding," Randy complained

"Well it is more your wedding than mine, since you want it so bad," she replied

"So you don't wanna marry me?" He asked, looking at her

"No, I've been trying to say that for the past 4 months," she replied, being honest

"So why the hell did you say yes when I proposed?" He asked her, getting angrier by the minute

"I didn't say yes," she affirmed

"I just didn't say no to spare your feelings," she said, without thinking and Randy deflated, he looked crushed and her eyes softened

"Randy I-" she began

"Give me the ring."

"What?" She asked in disbelief

"Didn't you hear me? You said you don't wanna get married, fine, give me the ring," he repeated

Grace looked at the beautiful man in front of her and the diamond ring on her finger and Randy watched expectantly as she hesitated, before wrapping her index and thumb around the ring and slipping it off, holding it out to him

He took it from her and put it in his pocket and turned away and walked up the steps

"Randy, I didn't mean it like that," she said, following him into their bedroom

"No you meant what you said." He insisted and pulled out a duffel bag, grabbing clothes from his closet and stuffing it into his bag

He packed his clothes in silence for awhile

"You don't have to leave, I can go," she offered but he didn't say anything and she bit her lip hard when she heard him sniffle and he furiously wiped at his face when a crystalline tear dripped down his cheek

She flexed her fingers and put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched

"Don't touch me," he said and closed his eyes tightly

"Please, don't touch me," he begged and Grace removed her hand and felt the heartache radiating off of him

He picked up his bag and walked back downstairs, picking up his wallet, keys and phone and went to the door

"I'm sorry," Grace said, tears welling up in her own eyes

He paused, hand on the doorknob, he turned slightly over his shoulder to look at her

"I know," he replied

"I love you," she told him, truthfully

He looked at her and sighed sadly, walking over and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, it felt wrong, didn't feel like the kisses she was accustomed to from him

"I know," he replied before opening the door

"I'll stay at John's place till I figure this shit out, I'll see you around," he said rubbing a hand over his shaved head and taking a step outside

"Randy, I love you," she said desperately and he paused again and gave her a sad smile and nod before he stepped fully out and the door closed behind him with a soft click

Grace felt her legs give out as she fell to the floor. She just lost possibly the best thing in her life, all because she was a fucking coward, she needed Randy. How could she do this to herself? More importantly, how could she do this to the love of her life? How could she do this to Randy?

She let her head fall in her hands and she took a deep breath, then touched her lips that Randy had kissed moments prior and tightly closed her eyes

"What did I just do?" She whispered to herself, knowing she positively fucked everything up