something new

Tell her or forget about it completely

Nayas POV

Heather looks deep into my eyes and for the very first time we see each other. My heart beats out of my chest just by looking at her. She's magical, and she has me right under her spell. She stands up and walks over to me, I can't take my eyes off her. Not once. She grabs my hand and pulls me up to her. I can hardly breathe, I don't know what to do or what's coming next. My eyes wanders from her eyes to lips, back and forth. My hands are shaking so I just leave them hanging down the side of my body unaware of what to do with them. Heather has all the control over this situation, she puts her hands down the side of my waist. It leaves me completely breathless. I can feel the tension between our lips and how her eyes are seeking mines. I feel how she carefully starts leaning more and more towards me. The distance between our lips are getting shorter and shorter by every second and just as she falls I'm gladly there to catch her. My lips now on hers, meeting each other for the first time. 

The whole world around us completely disappears as we get more and more lost into this moment. My hands starts taking control and slowly moves up to her face cupping her soft cheeks. Our lips starts to move in slow movements together as one. Her hands travels down to under my thighs lifting me up and pushing me against the wall. I gasp by the touch of her as my hands starts to search their way to under her shirt. Her lips continues their way down my neck leaving sweet kisses everywhere. She's making me completely breathless. 

'' Hello Naya this is Ryan calling, I was just going to check with you if you're really coming back to set, we really need to know as soon as possible because if you're not we have to make changes in the script so can you please call me back as soon as you can. Thanks. '' 

I wake up quickly by the phone ringing beside me. I breathe so heavy that I almost can't breathe at all. I notice how the sweat just runs down on me and I soon enough realizes what is going on. Fuck. I run my fingers through my now sweaty and messy hair. I glance down on  my phone lying next to me on the bed. I was up for so long last night just waiting for her to call me. I don't know what I was thinking. Nothing happened yesterday. She gave me credit for the song and told me it was great and then suddenly she had to leave and nothing turned out the way I hoped for. I get up from the bed and takes the phone with me. I dial Ryans number and he answers immediately. 

'' Hey Ryan, yes I'm coming back. Do you think that we might can shoot the ' coming out ' scene today? Great. I'll be there in a few minutes. Thank you, bye.'' 

I honestly have no idea how things are going to turn out today. I sigh as I hang up to phone and walks to change into some other clothes. 

As soon as I finally get to set I realize how everyone is already there. I walk out of my car and walks towards the make-up trailer. I just want to get this over with as fast as possible.

Hey girlfriend, ready to shoot some amazing scenes together? And oh, are you going to sing that song today?! 

Heather notice me as soon as I walks in and my heart can't do anything other than to start beating faster. Everytime I see her is like I see her again for the very first time. It's crazy. I get a lump in my throat and I can hardly get out the words. 

Hey, of course I am, and no, not today. 

I smirk at her and she gives me a sad smile back. 

Oh okay.. Anyways it's going to be great, I gotta go see you later. 

She gets out of her makeup chair and as she walks past me she carefully runs her hand on the side of my arm. And once again she leaves me breathless as she walks out of the room. 

After a few minutes when everything is finally ready and the only thing that matters is me and Heather standing right in front of each other the director finally yells action and the camera is rolling. 

Hey Britt, can I talk to you for a sec?

Heather turns to me and gives me a small nod as she adds a shy smile. This is killing me, I don't know what to do, I completely forget my lines. 

I um.. I've been thinking..about us. About  me. And I just.. I.. 

I turn to look at the director who's sitting behind the camera and I'm met by I weird look. What am I even doing. I slowly takes a deep breath before I continues again. 

Lately I've just done a whole lot of thinking and I always seem to come to exactly the same ending. And I just.. 

I look down on the floor and then up into her deep blue/green eyes again. I can tell that she knows that something is wrong, or else she must think that I'm doing a hell of a good acting. 

My mom always told me that to know where my heart is I have to look where my mind goes when it wanders. And, you know... love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it. Love makes you vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. But you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a saying in who hurts you. And it would be an honor to have my heart broken by you if that means that I can get to be with you. So it's not gonna be easy, it's gonna be really hard. I'm gonna have to work on this every day but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever. I don't want anyone else, or to hide behind anyone else. I just want me and you every day. I'm in love with you, Brittany, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I'm in love with you. I don't think there's ever a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. And I know it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel. So please say you love me back... please. 

I stare terrified into her eyes, and never ever have I got that look back. She stares right back at me deep into my soul with tears in her eyes. This time I left her breathless and I don't even know if it's for the bad or good.