☆Featured in Teen Fiction's "Soul Deep" reading list☆
☆Featured in New Adult's "Mental Health" reading list☆
//COMPLETE & EDITED
I send him a string of paper airplanes: You're the sum of all tomorrows. And I'll say that tomorrow. And the day after...
"Glass half empty, glass half full Well either way you won't be going thirsty"
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I'm let in this time. The lady smiles at me and tells me which floor to go up to. The lift is cramped with other visitors and someone's phone starts ringing. When I hear a ding and the doors open at level 5, I feel a wave of nerves ripple through my internal organs.
A nurse brings me into the room, knocking softly on the door first. The only visible colors in the room are light pinks and blues that are hardly distinguishable from the omnipresent white. Kat's mom looks up as we come in, evidently woken up from a nap. She gets up from the recliner she was in and walks over to where I'm now standing alone at the doorway, the nurse having left to attend to someone else. From where I'm standing, I can't see Kat, only a vague shape beneath the blankets.
"Hi, Ashton. It's nice to see you." Her voice is a whisper. "I'm afraid she's sleeping right now."
"It's okay, I can wait until she wakes up."
"Would it be okay, then, if you sat by her and just made sure she was okay? I'd like to get myself a coffee and some food from downstairs."
"Sure, Mrs Greene. I don't have to do anything in particular, right?"
"No, it's fine. If you need help, just press the nurse button next to her bed." She looks tired, dark bags beneath her eyes. "Thank you so much, Ashton."
I take another step into the room. "You're welcome."
Once she's gone, I walk hesitantly over to the recliner and perch on its arm.
Kat, I think. She looks different, her skin kind of pale, her body looking small in the hospital gown she wears. A tube is stuck in her arm, and a blue hospital name band encircles her wrist. But she's the same Kat.
Oh, Kat...
She stirs slightly, and then opens her eyes, blearily at first, but she's wide awake once she sees me.
"Ashton," she says. Guarded. Neutral. My stomach catapults.
I want to hug her, so bad. I want to hold her and protect her and never let her go and whisper in her ear how much she means to me, over and over again. I want to tell her that she is still worth it all, despite everything that has happened. But instead, what comes out is, "I hate you, Katherine Greene."
"Good," she says.
I groan. "You know I didn't mean that."
"Not good."
"Kitty, I'm so sorry."
She closes her eyes again. "For what?"
"Everything." The desperation to get her to understand is almost overwhelming. "For lying in Never Have I Ever just to make you jealous and for being an absolute asshole....just...everything. I've fucked everything up, and I am so sorry."
