Devil On Both Shoulders [Calum Hood]

Chapter 5

"Why aren't we going to the supermarket?" I asked when Calum pulled up at the hotel. I hoped that maybe we'd go to the one that Pat worked at, but we were miles away, so that was out of the question.

"I can't risk being seen." He replied.

I stayed quiet as we climbed out of the car, Calum kept his hood down in case the people at the hotel had latched onto exactly who they were admitting into their building.

When the elevator took us to our room he strolled inside and grabbed his laptop. I briefly wondered what lengths he had gone to to escape from the police, but shoved the thoughts out of my mind.

Calum lay on the couch with the laptop propped on his legs, I sat next to his head.

"Okay, what do you want for dinner tomorrow?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "Chicken."

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm allergic." He said.

"No you aren't."

"Yes I am."

"No, you can't be allergic to every food I happen to bring up." I snapped.

"Well I am."

"We're having chicken."

Calum sighed and added chicken breast to his basket, "Okay, but if my throat swells up at dinner tomorrow you'll be dead the next

day."

He turned his head to see my reaction, I just stared at him, and he stared back.

"You can't kill me." I said rather boldly.

"Try me." His stare transformed into a glare. I wasn't intimidated, not in the slightest. In fact, I glared right back at him. I wasn't scared of him, because I knew he wouldn't hurt me, he had no reason not to, but I knew he wouldn't. I just knew.

He was the vicious tiger, and I was the tiny kitten.

A frightened, intimidated kitten was eaten straight away, but a brave kitten who dared to dance with the devil. .  .the tiger took an interest in this creature, wondering why it wasn't scared, why it didn't run screaming like the rest. The tiger spared its life, just to find out what was running through the kitten's little head. But, after a while the tiger had grown a bond to this kitten, and since the kitten was spending so much time with the tiger, it had grown stronger.

Eventually, the tiger forgot what it had wanted with the kitten in the first place, and let it free.

The kitten stayed.

Calum and I shopped around for a while, but then he paused, slumping his shoulders. He looked like he was going to say something meaningful.

"What are those things girls stick in their muffin when they. . .bleed?" He asked.

I burst out laughing, "Dude, I'm not going to kill you for saying vagina or anything."

He smiled, exposing multiple white teeth. "So, what are they called?"

"Um, it's okay. I don't need them."

Calum frowned, "What do you mean you don't need them?"

"I just don't."

"You must do, your a girl." He argued.

"Calum. I. Don't.  Need. Them." I growled through gritted teeth.

"How? How do you not need them?!" He shouted.

"BECAUSE I JUST DON'T!" I screamed, running upstairs.

I'm infertile, which means I can't have kids, I was born without ovaries so I didn't even get a period. It was a pretty sensitive subject to me, knowing I'll never be able to have kids.

Knowing I'll never have a mini-me padding through my house.

Knowing that when I die, that'll be it. I won't have anyone that people will remember me for, they won't say 'aw, she looks just like her mother did', they'll say, 'remember that girl who couldn't have kids, that's her adopted kid, it's a shame, really'.

I just sat on the master bed and sobbed as the sun went down, orange and pink streaks drew themselves across the horizon, the sun emitting the last few rays of light, until it gave up and made itself scarce.

I felt weak. I felt that Calum had won. And I had let him. Again.

I was too wound up in my thoughts to notice him sneaking into the room and using his strong arms to pull me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered into my ear

"No you're not. You don't care about me." I said.

"I do."

"If you cared I wouldn't even be here. I'd be with my family."

"If I didn't care then I wouldn't be here. You'd still be at Luke's, and I wouldn't have you in my arms like I do now. I do care."

I stayed quiet. I just relaxed my body to show him that I was comfortable with this position. Although I wasn't, physically: yes, emotionally: no.

***

Following morning, the food came, and I tried to keep my distance from Calum as we stored it all away.

He left me in the master bedroom last night, and slept in one of the spare rooms. He said he could stay, if I wanted, but I didn't.

"What do you wanna do now?" Calum asked once we were finished with everything.

I shrugged in response.

"You're not still mad at me, are you?"

"Of course I'm still mad you! Do you not realize what you've done? You took my sister, then you took me, you forced me into stealing, you brought me here and can't keep your nose out of my fucking business! I can't even call the police because you and your gang of sickos fucking killed them all!" I yelled at him.

What he did next, was beyond both my knowledge and experience.

He kissed me.