Believing Lies

ONE: Sleep Away The Sadness of Today

Swishing and sloshing rain on a windscreen and lighting  are bombing and scraping on the sky.

The sound of the roaring thunder and the fan whirring lazily above my head was not as  clangorous as my sobs. Tears are unstoppable dribbling down my ruddy face. I can't stop myself from crying as the harsh words from my schoolmates and the heavy hand of Alyssa, slapping my face, come flooding back to me. The pain on my cheek is unbearable.

Patuloy paring bumubulong sa akin ang mga kasinungalingang binigkas ng mga tao sa akin habang naglalakad ako kanina sa makitid na bahagi ng paaralan, hallway, kung saan ay pinaranas sa akin ni Alyssa ang sakit ng una kong karanasan na masampal nang walang ginagawang masama sa kanila.

Hindi ko na kinaya ang mga pangyayari kanina sa school. Mas pinili ko nalang umuwi sa aming bahay at magkulong sa madilim kong kwarto.
Suot ko parin ang aking uniform at hindi na nagawang magpalit ng bagong pares ng damit kahit na basang-basa na ito nang dahil sa ulan.

Kanina, habang naglalakad pauwi ng bahay, sinabayan ng kalangitan ang kalungkutan na dinaramdam ko. Nagpasalamat naman ako sa mumunting butil ng ulan dahil walang makakakita ng mga luha kong patuloy na umaagos sa aking mukha, habang tinatahak ko ang daan patungong bahay.

The wind blowing through my hair but I can't feel the old breezy night that I used to have everytime it's raining outside. Tonight, it's full of sadness, dark, dense and blue.

I just want to feel okay again.

My phone keeps on beeping and my notification was flooded with my friend's unopened messages. I scrolled down to see other notifications on my lockscreen.

16 missed calls from Amber.

I tapped one of my friend's message to open it. Tons of messages were flashed on the screen and I realized that she's been texting me since this morning. Maybe she knew. Sino pa bang hindi nakakaalam? Rumors spreads extremely quick like a forestfire . Rumors that were carried by haters and spread by fools.

Amber- 8:00 am
You okay?
I heard the rumors about you and Aiden.
Those are all lies. Kilala kita Riley. I know na itong si Aiden ang naghahabol sa'yo and I knew that you refused him. Hindi ko rin alam na may girlfriend siya.

8:30
My classmate told me nagharap daw kayo ni Alyssa?
Sorry hindi kita nasamahan. Late kasi akong pumasok.
Are you ok lang ba?

9:30
Where are you? Nag aalala na ako sa'yo.
Hindi ka raw pumasok sa first subject niyo.
Saan ka? Pupuntahan kita. Nag aalala na talaga ako sa'yo.

12:00
Answer my calls Riley.
Text me or tawagan mo ako if you need me. I'm always here for you.
I understand. Siguro nga gusto mo lang mapag-isa.

My phone beeps again and another message from Amber flashed on the screen.

Amber- 1 minute ago
I'm going to your house tonight. Nag aalala na talaga ako sa'yo.

Rayle- 7:15 pm
Sorry for not responding to your texts and calls. I know na nag aalala ka. I'm fine. Hindi mo na kailangan magpunta sa bahay. I want to be alone. By the way, thanks for your concern.

After sending the message to Amber, my phone went black and the red battery alert flashed on my screen.

Hinayaan ko nalang ang katawan kong bumagsak sa aking kama. Pagod na akong umiyak. Hindi na kaya ng mga mata kong magbuhos pa ng mga luha. Pagod na rin ang buong katawan ko. Tired. Drained.