Grounding the Storm ✓

Chapter 43

By the time I wake, Silas is already gone. The side of the bed he slept on is cold, meaning he left long ago to deal with the issue we pushed back until this morning. I groan and untwist myself from the sheets, sliding out of his bed. At some point, I have to return to my chambers and that might as well be now. There's no better time than the present to get yelled at for bringing the crown prince into the issue.

I search for that small bit of care but can't find anything. After all the wasted time I've spent throwing myself at his feet, I've finally given up.

The morning is still silent so hardly anyone passes me as I walk from one end of the castle to the other. When I make it there, I'm met by silence. Wherever Silas is, he's already gone through here and left. They might have killed each other by now but I don't bother checking Renit's chambers for the massacre and disappear into my own.

The sheets are pulled back from last night and the rug is still scrunched from where Renit tripped over it. I don't want to train today; I don't want to see his face, and I don't want to consider his existence. After last night, there's no sense in trying. If I try more than what I have, I'll be burying myself sooner than later.

Not wanting to stick around and wait for Renit to summon me for training, I take a hot bath and soak until my fingers are numb and my eyes are heavy again. If he comes, I use the almond shampoo and soap to match the strong-scented lotion that makes my head spin. Mani said he liked the smell, Renit said he hated it. So I will wear something he hates.

I walk back into my chambers in nothing but my towel and new bandages wrapped around my wrists. I underestimated how difficult the process would be to replace them on my own, without a second pair of hands. Picking at the white fabric, I don't notice his presence in the room but I look up and spot his shadow, standing towards the door.

Hair dripping, skin wet, completely vulnerable in my towel, I stop. And frown. "Get out," I say blandly.

"You know I didn't mean to do that," Renit retorts. He stands with his back pressed against the door, arms crossed against his chest. Metal bracers cover his forearms and elbow protectors and very complicated leather armor over his abdomen with buckles and straps for weapons. The familiar baldric I've seen him wear nearly every day is stocked with throwing knives.

Sweat shines his forehead and his hair. To be training this early in the morning—he's trying to take his mind off something.

I sigh and shuffle to my large closet. "I don't care. Now leave."

I shut the door to the closet and pick out a crimson tunic and dark pants. His boots click across the floorboards and the shadow of his figure darkens the crack underneath the door but he doesn't advance, nor does he open it to scream at me for disobeying him. "Roux, you know I would never hurt you intentionally. We'll summon Hallie to clean the wounds and then we'll forget all about this." His voice muffles through the door and I listen to the words but none of them register. An emptiness has cracked open inside my heart, leaking fluid, and there's no way to stitch it back together.

Renit had his chance. If he wanted to care, he should have done it a long time ago. When I was trying. He had two months to make this work between us and last night was the final straw. I can't see myself trying for the rest of my life, no matter how long that may be. If I keep living like this, not very long.

I drop the towel and start changing. If he opens the door now, he'll be in for a rude awakening. "I don't want a healer," I say barely loud enough for him to hear.

He sighs. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You can give me back Arego and my parents and let me leave this hellhole." Once I'm changed, I open the door and stare up at the hard lines of his face. Nothing. I feel nothing. During the engagement ceremony, I thought there could be something between us if we tried hard enough but now, I don't think that's possible. He's too...Renit. He refuses to break out of that shell he's coiled himself into.