Voltron! X Reader !!Requests open!!

14~ Keith x reader (WARNING!! emotional!!)

thanks so much to @elvaxox_04 for giving me this amazing suggestion.

                          !!!!!!!!LISTEN TO MUSIC WHILE READING FOR MEGA SADNESS!!!!!!!!!

Just a warning guys, this includes content that might trigger some people, it includes rape, suicide, and other dark subjects. Viewer discretion is advised. Plus this is a kind of modern au so its present time.

Three weeks ago from present time...

One more day....I've been saying those same words everyday since my mother was killed, I was left alone and was raped and had a miscarriage at 17. I'm now 19 and I've been getting worse and worse at reminding myself to keep going, and that I need to live. And everyday I find a new reason to end my own life, to end all of my suffering. But I can't leave him...I know he has been through things too, and he helps me, but at the end of the day I can never get my mother back nor my childhood back.

"Just...one more...day..." I cough and load more pills into my mouth. "Just....one...m-m.." I couldn't breath, and I started to throw up violently. That's when the worst thing happened. Keith banged on the door, knowing very well what I'm doing. "Y/N!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!" He bangs on the door and I throw up more. I start to getting light headed. I taste blood in my mouth and I was feeling excruciating pain. I regret it....what am I doing!? I grasp my throat and my stomach and now all I can do is lie on the ground and shake violently. Blood and stomach acids pour out of the corner of my mouth and onto the floor. All I see before the darkness consumed me was keith looking down at me and sobbing. And then.....darkness......

"NO!" I shot up from the covers and I cry and breath heavily and holding the sides on my head. "No No No No No No No No..." I rock back and forth, holding my head as Keith wakes up alarmed and immediately comforts me. "Breath... Babe you're okay, I'm here okay? I'm right here with you" I finally calmed down and I wrapped my arms around him and I didn't let go. I keep having the same nightmare every night, but I kill myself in different ways. And they all end with someone finding me...Someone I love....

Keith strokes my hair and I relax. Keith seems to be the only thing keeping me sane. It's terrifying to think of leaving Keith.

But little did I know....it would all change....

Present time...

"Hey babe, how was your day at work?" I smile at him softly as he walks into the bedroom. "It was pretty good, I got a raise too" He smiled back at me and took off his clothes. He put on a shirt and we crawled onto the bed with me. "I'm fucking tired though," I smile as I run my fingers through his hair softly. "I love you keith." I say to him as he drifts off to sleep. And soon I join him in our peaceful slumber.

"Keith! Keith!" his name echos within my head all I can see is darkness and all I can feel is coldness. I try to move but my arms are bound together tightly and my wrists ached. I move my eyes around me to try to see something but all I saw was pitch black darkness. I screamed louder, hoping someone would hear em and then I was falling. Endlessly falling into darkness. The pit in my stomach filled with butterflies as I fell.

Then I stopped suddenly and I was petrified by what I was saw at my feet. My lifeless body hanging from a door handle, with a rope around my neck. Then I see blackness, I feel even further and stopped again, my body is in front of me, this time I'm lying in a pool of blood with a knife in my chest.

I try to scream and claw out of this nightmare, but I couldn't make a sound. I tried to run but all I did was move my legs, not going anywhere. After what seems like forever, of seeing various versions of my dead body, I finally clawed out.

I felt my body hit something hard and flat. It knocked the breath out of me and I couldn't breath. I screamed for Keith but I couldn't do anything and yet again, I couldn't speak. When I caught my breath I struggled to pick myself up and back onto the bed. Keith was still sleeping so I tried to call for him. "Keith! P-please wake up!" cold tears started to fall down my face and I grabbed his arm. His skin felt cold and stiff. I quickly pulled my hand away from his arm and came closer to him. His eyes were wide open and his neck was split open. I felt revolted and I turned away from him and threw up. All I threw up was black clumpy blood. I was horrified. I hear a revolting noise and I looked over at Keith's dead body. Something inside of him was moving and trying to burst out of him. I watched completely terrified and I was shaking worse than ever. All of the sudden a huge spider burst out of his chest and I screamed.

That's when I woke up...for real, but I didn't believe it was real. I screamed and cried in complete horror. Keith woke up startled and he held onto me while I flailed and screamed. "NO! NO! DON'T DIE! NO! KILL ME! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!" I cried and screamed as I tried reach for my pocket knife that was in the first drawer of my bedside table. Keith stopped me and he yelled at me. "YOU'RE AWAKE! I'm here! Calm down!" I stopped flailing and I breathed heavily and mumbled things to myself. "I don't want to live....I can't...no....please...no..." I kept mumbling as Keith rocked me in his arms. Soon I calmed down and I cried. "I promise I will never leave you, and I promise to keep you safe for the rest of your life." He spoke to me, and he calmed me.

Four years after that night.

"Mommy! Daddy! Look!" I looked to my side and my sweet little daughter came running up to us and showed us a butterfly, who had landed in her hand. "Isn't it so pretty! Can I keep it?? Please mommy!" I kneeled down to her and I looked at the butterfly, who's feathers have been somewhat rubbed off by Elizabeths hands. "No sweetie, it belongs out here, where it can live happily." I told her. Keith kneeled down next to me. "Let it fly liz, it wants to live forever," He told her. Elizabeth looked disappointed and she frowed. "But why?" she asked, about to cry. I wiped her eyes of the baby tears, "You just have to let go of delicate creatures such as a butterfly, you don't want to kill it do you?" She shook her head and opened her hands all the way and the butterfly flew away so gracefully. "Bye butterfly, I'm sorry I captured you!" Liz waved to the butterfly. She turned away and ran back to the garden with the roses. I looked up the butterfly and a bird swooped in and took it's life. I stopped and stared at the sky where it happened. My eyes widened a bit and my expression turned from happines to horror.

"Babe?" Keith up his hand on my shoulder and it startled me. "You okay?" he asked. "Yeah, just..looking at the clouds," I shook it off and forced a smile. "Okay baby." He went back to painting our new house and I looked back into the sky.... I had flashbacks of when I was suicidal and I shivered. But that's in my past now, I've gotten over it and now I'm much stronger. I have a beautiful child and a georgeous Husband. I would never leave them. Ever

I'm so thankful that death never caught me...not for now at least....