In Real Life ✓

5. Bitches Don't Know Bout My Dough

It would have been really lovely if everything went right and smoothly and according to plan, but no, it just had to go wrong, because karma hated everybody, including me. See, the school board thought it'd be a great idea to send the pairs they'd put together into the woods to find the way to the camping spot. Alone. And even worse, without our phones. No GPS, no flashlight and no internet to look up if those bright red berries were edible or if they would make you vomit uncontrollably.

Apparently, this was meant to be an activity to learn from. If you asked me, I'd say it was just dangerous as hell. But who was I to argue? I was just one of the students with no say on the matter whatsoever.

Me being helpless without the worldwide web and Gilbert being... whatever he was—he was very lost in his own world, that's for sure—we got hopelessly lost. I suppose that made him double lost. Ha.

Nevertheless, it didn't seem to bother him all that much. He simply sank down beside a tree with a deep sigh and took something out of his pocket. He lifted his hand to his mouth and then the something was in between his lips. "Want some?" he asked.

"What is it?" I squinted my eyes to see if the something in his mouth was a cigarette or—

"A joint."

Okay, so definitely something else.

"No thanks."

"Okay," he said with a shrug, before lighting the joint and blowing out a cloud of smoke. It stood out in the dark woods like a stark ghost. A ghost of drugs.

I sat down next to him. "Not gonna try to tell me it's great and pressure me into becoming an addict?"

"Nah."

"Okay."

"You can't get addicted to weed anyway."

I snorted. "Sure."

"No, really. You can get psychologically addicted to it, but not physically."

He brought the joint to his mouth again and it was quiet for a moment. I looked around, watching the smoke dissipate, before I asked, "Have we given up on the assignment now?"

"Yep."

"We can't stay here all night," I said.

"Sure we can."

"We'll die of hypothermia."

"I doubt it. It's not that cold. Let's play a game." He faced me with a smile I couldn't quite decipher, and I hated it. I hated not knowing a person well enough to read their expressions. I wish I was here with someone I'd known for longer than a few days...

"As long as it's not twenty questions," I said. "I've had enough of your questions."

"No, no questions. It's more like... a request?"

I sighed and put my arms around my legs in an attempt to keep myself warm. "Very well. Request away. It's not like we have anything else to do."

"Tell me a secret."

It sounded suggestive, but when I glanced at him, he wasn't smiling or anything like that. He was simply awaiting my answer with a genuinely interested expression on his face. Still couldn't read him, though, damnit... What kind of secret did he want to know then? And why was he asking?

When he raised a brow at my silence, I said, "I once drew a dick on my brother's back with a sharpie and he didn't find out until he had to change for PE."

He laughed and shook his head. "That is... an amusing story, but not really a secret."

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I'll go first," he said, leaning back and chewing on his lip thoughtfully. "Okay, so I really like smoking weed."

"Is that even a secret?" I said, waving at the joint in his hand.

"I mean— I don't tell people about it, but— Okay, fine. It's a half-secret. Then, I guess... My parents..." He paused to take another drag. "They are rich."

"Like... rich or rich rich?"

"Rich rich rich. I'm literally swimming in money I don't use."

"And that is a secret, because?"

"Because I can't tell anyone who my parents are and why they're so rich. Legal reasons."

"Does it have to do with your addiction to weed?"

He glared at me. "No."

"Then what?"

"I just said I can't tell."

"Hey, come on, we're telling secrets here."

"Yeah and I've already told you two. Your turn. Two, please."

Two secrets? I barely had any real secrets. As far as I knew, I only had one, and I didn't know if I even wanted to tell him about that. "I'll tell you a really, really big one that you can't tell anyone about if you tell me what those 'legal reasons' are."

After a moment of consideration, he nodded, so I took a deep breath and stared into the dark woods ahead of us. He trusted me enough to tell me whatever those 'legal reasons' were, so I could trust him too, right? Shit, I don't know. What if this turned into another Joe situation? Maybe I could make something up and lie.

But then again...

Oh, fuck it.

"Okay, do you go on Twitter sometimes?"

"What does that have to—"

"Just answer the question."

"Yeah, every once in a while, I guess."

"Then have you ever heard of DukeCockroach? You know, that account with millions of followers and stuff..."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I've heard of DukeCockroach. Who hasn't? Why? Do you know them?"

"I am DukeCockroach."

For a few seconds, he just stared at me.

And stared some more.

And some more.

Then, he laughed.

"You're joking, right?" he snickered. "I can't just happen to stumble into... the DukeCockroach! There's... I don't know, hundreds of millions people that could be the admin of that account and you're saying it's you?"

Honestly, I was a little annoyed. I was telling this boy I barely knew something that was very important to me and he was just throwing it aside like trash. I had no clue why I thought this was a good idea. I glared at him and said, "Yes, I'm not fucking lying. We are telling secrets, remember? This is my secret."

"Prove it."

"I can't, dumbass. They took our phones."

"Ah, shit, you're right."

I groaned and fell back against the tree behind us. "I'm going to be stuck here with you forever, aren't I?"

"Is that really so bad, though?" he asked with a crooked smile.

With a sigh, I looked up at the moon peeking through the trees, and wrapped my arms around my legs once again. "Could be worse."

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