In Real Life ✓

21. "YoU wAnNa GO oUt SomEtIMe?"

So, Christmas. That wonderful time of year when everyone comes together and sits around a dying tree and pretends all their present come from a fat man in a red suit who laughs like a serial killer when, in reality, they obviously come from their own fucking parents, and eat something fancy just because it's Christmas... And of course, the day on which I'd be revealing my identity on Twitter.

Finally, I had an answer to give to Tamara and Leslie.

"Eve."

"Yes."

"When?"

"Well..."

"Ooh, ooh, she didn't say 'soon' again!" Leslie said with a grin, turning on her dramatic voice. "What does this mean?! Maybe she'll do it today!"

"I picked a date. Well, Gilbert did, but yes. Christmas."

"Christmas? But that's so long away," Tamara whined.

"Why do you even care anyway? You already know."

"I just wanna boast about knowing a celebrity is all."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her. "I knew you were only pretending to be my friends for fame. You hungry whores."

Leslie died.

Tamara sighed and lifted our laughing friend up from the floor. She really had a problem. She was way too dramatic for her own good. Sooner or later she'd choke on her own spit or something.

Then the Bitch walked past to glare. It was all she did these days. Glaring. I guess she had nothing better to do.

Wait...

Oh shit.

I guess she'd come up with a new course of action.

Tamara cleared her throat. "Uh, Eve, are you seeing—"

"I know. I'm seeing it."

"Aren't you gonna—"

I shushed her and said, "Let's see how this plays out," grabbing her and Leslie's arms to drag them closer to Felicia, who was walking up to Gilbert with a confident stride, swaying hips and everything. Gilbert's recently acquired best friend, Tony, noticed me standing by the corner gave me a smile and shrugged, just as Felicia's hand landed on Gilbert shoulder.

Gilbert whirled around to face her with utter surprise on his face while Tony and the other guys turned away and tried to hide their snickers. Everybody knew how pointless this was. Gilbert and I didn't broadcast our relationship to the public or anything like that, but the fact that he had the tendency to follow me around like a lost puppy said enough. And also... Leslie's big mouth...

Yep, everybody knew.

Felicia tilted her head to the side before she started, "Hi, Gibbs. I was wondering..."

He merely squinted at her hand, which was still on his shoulder.

"Do you wanna go out sometime?"

"Um... not really?" he replied, before moving the hand away.

"Oh," she breathed, somehow sounding genuinely surprised. "Why not?"

"Because I'm in a relationship, Felicia. I'm dating Eve."

Tony couldn't keep it in anymore and doubled over in a fit of laughter, which kind of reminded me of Leslie, so I whispered, "Hey, Les, you should date Tony."

"What? No! He's way too... cool."

Tamara snorted while Felicia was trying to gather her scraps of dignity by saying, "Oh, I didn't know. Sorry."

"That's okay," Gilbert replied. "Bye, Felicia."

I spluttered a laugh at that and when she'd gone far enough, I came out of my hiding place and walked over to Gilbert, imitating the way Felicia had walked. He cracked a smile when I put my hand on his arm too. "Hey, do you wanna go out sometime?"

This had Tony crying with laughter again.

"Perfect impression," another guy said.

"Thank you." I even did a curtsey, holding up my non-existent dress. "By the way, Tony, you should go out with Leslie."

I was not wasting any time here.

"Oh my God!" she squeaked, immediately running away.

"Eve, stop playing matchmaker," Tamara said, giggling at the sight of the girl skidding around the corner like she was getting chased by a madman with an axe.

"I got you and Darren together, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't. You've never even talked to him."

"Haven't I?"

Her mouth fell open, and when she crossed her arms and squinted at me, I thought she was going to yell at me for interfering or whatever, but she only told me, "Hm, thank you, I guess."

I gave her a satisfied nod. "You're very welcome."

"Say, Tony," she said, turning to the blond boy, "would you be interested?"

"I..."

The guy next to him said, "Don't you dare say no, dude."

"Um, well... Could I have her number?" he asked, before quickly adding, "If she's okay with it, of course."

I gave him a smile and told him we'd handle it.

A/N: I hate this chapter but I don't have time to rewrite it again so whatever...