In Real Life ✓

42. The Tea Has Been Spilled

After looking around on the internet for a while, I found an article specifically for asexual females and read the whole thing with a growing fascination until I knew all there was to know about masturbation. Well, close enough. When I reached the end, it honestly didn't sound all that impossible anymore, but actually doing it still seemed kind of scary. I mean, what if I did it wrong? What if it didn't feel good at all? What if my parents walked in on me?!

Not that the latter was likely to happen, since they never came into my room unless there was an emergency and I could always just try this thing in the bathroom anyway. The door had a lock and I could clean up afterwards, so that seemed like the best solution...

Nah, forget it. I wasn't doing this.

I pulled my blanket around me with an obstinate huff and opened Twitter, opening my DMs and clicking on my conversation with Travis. He'd been super supportive about the whole coming out thing, but I still hadn't told him much about Gilbert. Actually, I'd practically told him nothing, now that I thought about it. Then again, he didn't tell me much about his own girlfriend, either.

But I could ask him for advice without making it obvious that it was about me...

I covered my face and groaned in pure mortification, before asking him if he could call on Discord because I didn't really feel like typing the whole story out. But then he asked if we were gonna have phone sex, so I threatened to block him. Ten seconds later, I heard the Discord ringtone and clicked on join call with an unamused glare. "I hate you."

"No, you love me," he replied, grinning at the camera. "How can I be of service?"

"Honestly, I don't even know why I went to you about this. You have a peepee."

He burst out laughing and fell off his chair.

When he finally recovered, I told him the story, recounting the conversation Gilbert and I had had earlier today. He was quite surprised to hear that I'd completely changed my mind, but he did understand the way I thought about it. The broccoli analogy was successful yet again.

"So what do you think I should do?"

"Honestly, I think you really should just try it. You know, get naked and see what works for you or something. I had a girlfriend who loved when I played with her tits, but Enya is less sensitive to it. What does that article say?"

"Jesus, how can you talk about this so casually?" I muttered while linking the article in our Discord chat.

"Yeah, don't tell Enya I said that."

"My lips are sealed."

He read the article through and concluded that he'd learned something new too, before telling me what he thought could help. But in the end, it all came back down to me exploring for myself. Of course there wasn't much that other people could tell me. Of fucking course.

After ending the call and shutting my laptop, I lay down on my bed with the deepest sigh in existence and grabbed my headphones. I really needed some peace and quiet after everything that'd happened. The face reveal, the questions, the one-sided sexual tension, the unwanted attention...

Sometimes, when it all got too much, I loved just lying there and staring at the ceiling and thinking about absolutely nothing as I hummed along with the melody even though I couldn't sing for shit and didn't know the lyrics.

But after a while of lying around and overthinking everything anyway, I thought what the hell and slipped a hand under my shirt. Might as well try it.

Monday was interesting, to say the least. Felicia was not done following me around yet, which probably had something to do with the fact that she was too much of a pussy to 'rip off the bandaid', and Tamara and Leslie were sick of having to share their best friend with the local bitch. I knew why she was here, of course, but they didn't, and that was... quite the issue. They were very good at making passive aggressive comments about everything Felicia did and constantly glaring in her general direction. It was kinda funny.

They would never go all out and tell her to fuck off, though. That was my thing.

"Felicia, why don't you leave us be and do what I told you to do?" I asked when she sat down at our lunch table. "You are accomplishing absolutely nothing right now."

"I'll do it this afternoon, alright?" she hissed at me.

"What are you talking about?" Tamara asked, squinting suspiciously.

I waved a dismissive hand at her. "I'll tell you later."

But I didn't have to.

Around 3 PM, when Tamara, Leslie and I made our way over to our lockers after our last period, there was a commotion in the hallway. The moment I heard raised voices, I pushed myself into the throng of people and broke through to find Felicia and her younger brother arguing. Ash was there too, on the side, awkwardly looking back and forth while biting his nails.

Oh no...

"What's going on?" Leslie asked.

"Family drama," I replied, wincing when Thomas shoved Felicia.

"Why do you always have to ruin everything?!" he growled at her.

"I'm not ruining anything!" she yelled in reply, before angrily yanking the strap of her dress back in place when it slid off her shoulder. "What does it matter?"

"It matters because he's my fucking friend!"

Ash took a step forward to stop his friend, but Thomas only said to him, "You know she just uses everybody, right? She gets into their heads and their pants and then she fucks them over, like the cold bitch she is. You're a bitch, Felicia. You're just like her."

"I am nothing like her," she screamed.

Oh, dear, this was not going well...