Diversity「A Random Book 」

muma

so generally, i seem like a pretty happy person

that's because my mood reflects whatever is going on at the moment

at the minute though, not so much

there's something extremely demoralizing about hearing your own dad say (behind your back) "She'll grow up anyway, regardless of whether she goes to college or not. She'll figure it out."

which brings me to the topic

of what the hell muma is about.

btw if you're a PWA judge maybe you shouldn't read this

anyway

onto my explanation

for those of you who don't know, my parents are divorcing

i wanted to enter the PWA (granted this was last minute), and i wanted to write something about what had happened to me

so the MC is kinda me sorta not really

(she looks nothing like me for starters, and im not a misdreavus thanks)

her mom is missing/dead (i haven't decided which one it's supposed to be), but i intended to show that her mom was kind of abused

and her dad seems to be nice, from the way he hugged her before she turned into a misdreavus, but the thing is, he's not

the thing that "killed" her in the hallucination (we'll get to this later)? the gallade that one-shot the mismaguis that was causing the hallucination in the first place.

and guess who that gallade belongs to? her dad

so while my dad isn't powerful/rich

he's richer that my mom, and he likes to think he's powerful (kinda)

anyway, when the MC turns into a misdreavus, it's because she's scared of what she saw, and she's scared that it's true (in my case it is)

also at the beginning, i attempted to make the MC seem alone. this is kind of similar to me, because even though i have a lot of wonderful friends online, irl, i kinda don't have anyone

most people that "know" me well have seen me claim that im crazy (im not)

going "crazy" is a way for me to have a fit for no reason. usually because i have no one to talk to in school because school blocks discord

and honestly i don't think anyone there would give a shit about whether my parents were divorced or not

(im really just hopping around here uhg. i just write as my thoughts flow)

also what the MC saw was a hallucination. if you read the bolded quote at the top, that's mismaguis's pokedex entry

mismaguis can create illusions/hallucinations, and that's what the MC saw

originally, she had no idea that her mom was depressed. she just saw her dad as her dad

except after the hallucination, she begins to imagine it's real (it is real for me) and freaks out, turning into a misdreavus in the process

now at the end where the misdreavus consumes her dad's fear (yes they can do that), that's kinda what i hope happens to my dad. i want him to realize how much pain this is causing me and my mom. i want him to stop acting like a happy-go-lucky person.

honestly i think i hate my dad

and i can't say anything around him, because i don't know how he'll twist it

i tell him "i don't really want to go to this summer camp, because it's crazy expensive and my friend says it's not that great"

he tells my mom "oh she doesn't want to do to any good school, so i don't have to pay child support"

like, i didn't say that. and then my mom gets super stressed and starts crying in front of my, causing me to cry

and because of mood swings, that sends me into a bad mood for a few hours

like now

im in a bad mood

idk what im going to do anymore

probably stalk youtube