Ballerina Barbie - A Trixya lesbian au

Chapter 9: Panic

*Sorry, It's kinda short, but an early update is an early update right?*

Katya P.O.V
Tuesday

"What the fuck is this?" I question, frowning through the glass at some strange garment, if you could call it that, worn once by Merle Haggard. Trixie looks up from the display she was inspecting to giggle at me, "Hideous" she says simply before looking down again. I roll my eyes and continue wandering. Trixie was so excited when she found out what this place was, and ever since she stepped in the doors, a huge grin has occupied her face.

I'm reading an information card about Dolly Parton, Trixie's favourite, when a pair of arms wrap around my waist, and a voice whispers in my ear, "I love Dolly Parton", I look over my shoulder at Trixie, "I know you do, you also love country music" I say before looking back at the info. A kiss is pressed to my cheek before Trixie loosens her arms and instead grabs my hand, moving to my side, then resting her head on my shoulder with a yawn, I smile at her, "Are you tired?" my only response is a nod against my shoulder, with a chuckle I wrap an arm around her waist before guiding her out the doors into the night.

We pile into the car and sit in a comfortable silence. Trixie breaks it. "Thank you so much Kat, that was so much fun", I look over at her, "I loved spending time with you Trix" I say honestly, she smiles, blushes, and looks away.

After dropping Trixie home, I return back to my apartment, step in the door, and drop the mask. My throat tightens and my breathing quickens, I can't do this. I can't be bothered to pretend that I'm okay, I can't be bothered to pretend that I want a loving relationship, I'm to fucked up. I like Trixie, but I can't pretend, not with her. We've only known each other for a month, but we've become close, and I don't want to lie to her. I allow the panic to wash over me in waves, sweeping me into a state of mind numbing panic.

"Hey girl! Whats up?"
"Hey Kam, are you busy?"
"A little, I'm on a date, but anything for you!"
"Oh, nevermind then, see you..."
I hang up and lean my head against the wall, ever since I lost a friendship with Laganja, Kameron has been my go-to. We went to highschool together and were actually good friends beforehand in middle school, when she moved from Nashville and I moved from Boston, we were forced to hang out by our teachers, so after all those years, she knows how to calm me down.

I need to escape for a while, sort myself out, let other people have a break from me, I'm too fucked up for anyone to handle right now, especially Trixie.
I pick up my phone and look for flights, one that leaves soon,  five AM tomorrow? Perfect. I have no shoots scheduled for the next three weeks anyway. I send a text to Ganji, saying that I won't be in LA for a couple of weeks and won't be attending any classes, before grabbing a suitcase and shoving the entire contents of my closet inside. I need to completely escape. I glance at the time, one AM, four hours. I rush around the house in a flurry of movement and panic, before settling with a full bag by the front door, only my keys and wallet clutched in my hand, phone inside on the bench. I watch my uber pull up and get in, silent the whole ride.

I get into the airport with two hours to kill, so I stop at starbucks to pick up an espresso, then head in the direction of my gate, fidgeting in my seat. I feel bad for leaving without a word, but I have to, there's no other option.