Goodbye...Tracy Beaker

Ouija Session

Cam looks at me in shock

'What do you mean?' She says

'I know this is hard to believe...but me and Lily we saw Tracy..she came back' i say

'Are you serious! How could you joke about that!' Cam says

'Cam..I'm deadly serious' i say

Cam looks into my eyes and she knows I'm not lying

'How could I..' She says

I knew what she meant

'Tracy said you don't believe..so she couldn't say goodbye' i say

'I'll find a way..thanks for telling me Mike' Cam says smiling

I smile back and we continue sorting out Tracys things she had a prepared will

Which she had updated 5 days ago...

I let tears fall while reading this,this all didn't seem real at all

I look through and sort everything into different piles until I see a picture of us all at the dumping ground we'd taken it on Tracys leaving day

FLASHBACK

'Right everyone outside the house please! Big ones at the back small ones at the front!' Mike shouts as everyone gets into their places

'Say Tracy on the count of three ready?' Mike says running back to his place

1..2..3

'TRACY!' They all shout happily

BACK TO REALITY

And that's when I can't hold on any longer..i still can't accept she's gone As i look back at the picture she's laughing with all the others..

We've finished with her stuff and I pick up the boxes to go back to the dumping ground

'Will you be alright?' I ask Cam

'Yeah..Thanks..for the help' she says

I nod and head out the door placing the boxes in my car boot I head home

I open the door to see all the kids in the lounge they had all lost their spark

'Hey Guys' I say

'Hey' They all say

There was no spark anymore...I couldn't blame them for that. Tracy took the happiness with her and I doubt we would feel it again

Tee cuddles Carmen closer to her and I go upstairs leaving everyone their stuff off Tracy and their letters on each of their beds closing their doors so nobody else would see

Everyone heads upstairs as I come down and go to sit in the quiet room

'I can't do this without you kiddo it's too hard' I say, trying not to cry

I was hoping and praying she would appear and say yes you can I believe in you or on second thoughts I'll ask to come back

But the world doesn't work like that. Once it's chosen someone you love to take it's not going to give them back especially if they're as loving, kind, funny and caring as Tracy was.

We're suffering a gigantic loss but whoever up there has the pleasure of her company, and now has the biggest gain

I sit back and take a long sigh feeling Tracys presence in my arms but she wasn't there anymore

I comforted her here. I remember it like it was yesterday. She was shaking as I held her close to me I can remember her asking if growing up was always this hard and while it made me softly chuckle it made me sad too

Because she wouldn't be around to experience the hard times in growing up she wouldn't have kids or get married

Because she's gone.

And I can't cope without you Tracy Beaker.

CAMS POV

This is the place.

Whatever it takes for me to see you again.

'Hi is this spirits and sensations?' I ask my voice trembling I was never one for this kind of scene but if I get to see Tracy again and say goodbye it'll make all the difference

'Yes. Are you looking for a ouija session, a palm reading, or..'

I cut her off

'A ouija session' I say

God I'm terrified I'm not cut out for this

'Alone?' She asks

'Yes...what's wrong with that?' I say

'Nothing at all! come on through madame' the woman says leading me through to a dark room with one candle and a ouija board lay in front of me

'Good Luck' She says before closing the door leaving me alone

'Here goes nothing' I say worriedly placing my fingers on the planchette. I read the rule book and say the ritual normally it would be as friends we've gathered hearts are true spirits near we call to you

But as I'm on my own it's, alone I'm here and my heart is true spirits near I call to you

'Show me a sign' I say desperately

It falls silent and I wait

And wait

And wait

Until the candle goes out before my eyes and I can't help but get a little scared

I place my fingers back on the planchette and proceed to ask my first question

'Are you a good spirit?' I say calmly

The planchette, without me even touching it moves to NO

'O..okay' I say starting to panic

'Do you know who I'm trying to contact?' I say

It whizzes over to YES

'Okay who am I trying to contact?' I say

It stops and then slowly moves over to T then R then A then C then Y

Oh god...

I nod and swallow the recurring lump in my throat

'Who are you?' I say

It stops and then moves to D then E then M then O then N

I start panicking as I slide the planchette over to GOODBYE but it slides back to NO

'Let me leave?' I ask

It goes to H then I then C then A then M

I'm getting really freaked out now how does it know my name I haven't said it

'Will you hurt me?' I say wanting to prove that they can't hurt you when they're dead

It whizzes to NO

Well THERES a relief

'What are you doing!' I hear someone say behind me

'Sorry I'll be just a...' I cut off when I realise I recognise that voice

I stand up quickly and turn round to see who I really hoped I just heard

'Tracy?' I say