Goodbye...Tracy Beaker

'Hi Cam'

She's here.

She's really here?

'Hi Cam' She says giving me a smile

'Tracy, you're here' I say, shocked to say the least

She nods

'You didn't have to put yourself in danger to see me' She says

'I'm sorry I just...I didn't see another way, it's so good to see you' I say

''We can do soppy talk later but for now you need to tell the demon that's about to enter your life and ruin it to Bog Off' she says as she kneels down to the planchette she closes her eyes and the planchette moves to GOODBYE and stays there

'Wow...so you can contact the dead now?' I say

'Well if you and anyone else can then I think I've got a few advantages' she says giving me a smile

'Lets go home, just remember not to talk to me in public, you may look a little mad' she says laughing

I walk out of the room closing the door

'Did your session meet your requirements?' The receptionist asks

I take a quick glance up to Tracy

'Yes. Yes it did' I say before leaving

That's enough ouija sessions for my lifetime thank you

We head back to the flat and I go to let her in but she just glides through the wall

'Alright no need to show off' I say laughing as she takes a seat and pats the one next to her

'So...what's it like?' I ask her

'Weird. Really weird. I can literally just float around wherever I want and nobody knows' she says

'It's really like that?' I say

'Yeah...for a while...and then I'm stuck up in the clouds...todays my last day, I heard you and Mike he shouldn't have told you but I'm glad he did' she says

'But why them and not me?' I ask, tears formulating despite trying to stay strong

'Hey don't cry, I wasn't going to forget you, you just weren't ready. I wanted to see you I really did but you needed time' she says

'No amount of time will heal this and I won't ever be ready because if I don't have you then what do I have' I say trying not to cry

'New York. you could start a new life amazing opportunities you'd get your work out there and people would know who you are' she says

'I can't just up and leave' I say

'You can because you deserve a good life Cam' she says

'Yes but...' I say but she cuts me off

'don't let anything hold you back' she says

'I guess your right I just...I don't want you to think I'm moving on too quick, I won't ever forget you Tracy' I say unable to stop the tears

'I know you won't, and I won't forget you either, but you can't stay here and grieve, you need to get out there and show the world what Cam Lawson can do, make me proud' She says giving me a smile

'I will I promise you. But just know, there won't be a single day I don't think about you'

A faint glow surrounds her, it can't be time not yet!

'Don't go. I need you, you're my girl' I say

'And I always will be, I promise you that. But you have to adjust to it, I know it's hard. Trust me I know, I was fighting and fighting the light but I had to go, and you need to put yourself first now. I've done my time Cam. I've completed what I wanted to do, I took Christie down which I've wanted to do for ages and now Lilys happy, I said goodbye to Mike and now I'm saying goodbye to you' She says

'But you shouldn't have too you're still so young, you shouldn't leave me' I say

I look round to see her in tears

'I don't want to leave you. I was trying to help and it ended up killing me, I knew it would in the end, but I can't leave you I need my mum' she says

'I need to be strong, and so do you, I will always be your mum. And you will always be my daughter' I say, knowing I have to stay strong for her if not for me

'It's not fair Cam' she says

'I know it isn't.' I say unable to say anything else

She closes her eyes and then when she opens them a light glow surrounds her, she gives me a hug and I can feel it it's like she's here again

'I've gotta go' she says

'Five more minutes?' I ask

We pull away and she slowly fades

'I just want to say this. No matter where I am, what we do, who we are, you'll always be my mum. What you have done for me is amazing, you loved me when nobody could, supported me through every tantrum stayed with me, and I love you even more for that, you saved me Cam. and gave me a home, a family, a chance to prove I'm more than just a care kid who didn't pass her GCSES, you accepted me. For me, and I couldn't be more thankful to you. You're my real mum' She says

She holds her hand out and I take it

'From the moment you entered my life, with your fuzzy jumper and your makeup, if you can call it that' I say

She laughs softly, giving me a smile

'I'm so proud of the woman you've become, Tracy. And I'm so glad you convinced me to foster you because as much of a bumpy ride it's been I wouldn't change a single thing. Fostering you, was the best decision of my life. And I won't ever regret it.' I say

'Really? I was a nightmare' she says, laughing

'You were. But you were my nightmare.' I say

'Oh Cam...' She says smiling wiping away her tears

'So...I suppose this is it' she says

'I'm ready' I say

Of course I wasn't ready. I won't ever be ready But I couldn't say that.

'I'm glad you are because I'm not' she says truthfully

'I'm not either and I think you know that, but we have to try and be strong' I say

'You're right, as always' she says smiling

'It's a mother's job to always be right' I say

'And you did the greatest job of that' she says

'Always being right?' I say with a chuckle

'No, being a mother' she says, smiling

The faint glow around her turns into a golden shimmer

'I love you, mum' she says

'I love you too Tracy, so much' I say as she fades away in my arms, our hands sealed until the last moment

She's turned to dust and I'm alone again

But I feel a little bit better

I'll never be ready. I don't think anyone is ever 'ready'

I'm just grateful I got to say goodbye