Remorse Filled Love

Comfort and Invitations

"Hey, where did Harry go?" Lucius asked suddenly; somewhat after fifteen to twenty minutes of talking about a particular potion with Severus.

Everybody's attention snapped to him hearing the sudden question. They all looked around them frowning after a moment of realization what exactly Lucius has asked.

"He was here just now, I saw him." Sirius said still looking around the Lake to find him.

"Not just now, Sirius. You probably saw him half an hour before." Severus said realizing that they had been talking for quite a while now.

"Actually, you are right. Where did he go?" James spoke up.

Severus shrugged. "Don't know; he has this weird thing of going unnoticed from other people." Severus said.

Remus dropped his gaze at his feet. "Probably he got this habit from his abusive childhood. It must be better to remain unnoticed than be beaten up to craziness." He said.

Severus instantly regretted his words. Suddenly he found a particular dry leaf lying beside him very interesting and started fiddling with it.

"It is okay, Severus, it's not your fault." Lily comforted him understanding the signs. She hugged him from behind and rested her head on his back.

In the Astronomy Tower, Harry leaned on the railing and watched the sky with a blank look. He was thinking of all the possibilities his life could have been. He sometimes longs for a little affection shown to him; someone for whom his presence will at least matter. But he realizes that longing is totally moot. He will always remain an odd one out among every one, everyone will notice him just because he is different. He felt like crying. Why couldn't he have died that day? Everything would have been so easy. He could have just finished what he was meant to do and then found peace in death. But his life has never been easy. He will have to spend his life here among these people. He should probably stop thinking about all the other what ifs. The break is starting in a week. He will have to find somewhere to spend the vacations. He will probably stay in Leaky Cauldron. But then he realized he didn't have enough money left to pay for the whole three months. Remus and Sirius' rings have cost him his almost all the money he brought. He was not regretting giving them that of course. They looked so happy together, Harry thought and smiled slightly. He would just ask Tom to let him work as his assistant for those months. Harry finalized his plans and closed his eyes enjoying the soft cold breeze on his face.

It was just after dinner. The odd group of Harry's friends were worried about him.

"Where the hell is he?" James asked frustrated.

"We have not seen him in the Slytherin dorms also." Lucius replied frowning.

"We have searched the whole castle, but he is nowhere." Severus said worried.

"Sirius, take out the map." James ordered. Sirius quickly complied. They all looked around the map.

"Hey, look he's in the astronomy tower. Let's go." Remus exclaimed after sometime.

They all ran towards the astronomy tower. When they reached there, they saw that Harry was sitting at the edge with his legs dangling from the tower. He was leaning sideways at the wall with his eyes closed. They slowly and silently made their ways towards him and could easily make out the shining tear tracks on his cheeks at night. The Marauders were the first to move towards him quickly.

"Harry?" Remus called out softly.

"No Moony, please understand, I seriously didn't mean to hurt him. I really wanted to save Padfoot." Harry mumbled, his face scrunching up in pain.