Dangerous Life

Chapter Eleven

Theo James as William Hanson

                   

One thing I learnt from yesterday is that getting drunk on a work night is a very bad idea.

The headache I have at work today is destroying me. I've already had four coffees and as many Panadol's as the packet allows me to take.

I stayed at Sam's last night, luckily, I have a variety of spare clothes at his house I managed to put on this morning after my shower. It was great because Xavier went home last night and getting ready at Sam's' meant I didn't have to face him.

I don't want to face him.

I'm still angry at him for yesterday, and for the fact that he never tells me about anything that's going on in his life. For the first time in our relationship I'm starting to question where we are going. How much simpler would my life be if I was with a normal person? A person who was also a lawyer, or an accountant, or one of a million other things that didn't involve them being secretive and away almost all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I love Xavier. It's just recently, with everything going on, I'm getting exhausted. I would love a husband who worked normal hours, bought a normal sized suburban house and wanted to raise a family with me. I will never lead a normal life while I'm with Xavier. He will always be away, be in danger, be busy, be angry and the idea of a life like that is starting to freak me out. Really freak me out.

I know I shouldn't be having these thoughts 10 days out from our wedding, but I am. I just am. Maybe I'm having a mid-twenties life crisis. Maybe these feelings are normal leading up to your wedding day?

"Penny for your thoughts?" I snap out of my day dream when William appears at my office door.

I smile warmly as he steps inside, looking as dapper as ever in one of his suits.

                   

William is the same age as me, we both started at the firm at the same time and survived our way around this place together. We started at the associates desks side by side and climbed up the ladder together. Now we are both Junior partners, aiming for our senior partnerships soon.  we are just good at working together. I never would have survived my first year here without his support. I can't count the amount of times we've won cases as a team and worked all hours of the day and night together.

How he manages to work as hard as he does and have a nine month old son at home amazes me.

"What were you thinking so heavily about?" he takes a seat casually across from me at my desk.

He is one of those all-American boys, very clean cut, very well-mannered and very polite. Very different to Xavier.

"Wedding drama" I smile a little. "I think I'm getting those nerves everyone talks about."

"Yes, I know that feeling" he returns my smile. "The good news is I think everyone gets them. I sure did. Don't overthink it."

"I'm trying" I reassure him. "It's a little hard sometimes, but if you got them too, then they must be normal. You and Mel are the coolest married couple ever."

"We have our moments" he shrugs a little. "We're having a few issues because of how much I have to work, but you know what it's like, we're lawyers, working 80 hour weeks in normal. We don't have much of choice if we want to make it far in this firm you know? But she doesn't really understand. It makes it difficult sometimes. I think the lack of sleep with Tyler isn't helping us much either."

"Marriage sounds like a lot of compromise" he chuckles as I say this.

"It is" he agrees. "And it can be hard work as well, but it's all worth it when you're with the right person."

All I can do is nod, he's right. When you're with the right person it must all be worth it. Is Xavier my right person though? Will things ever get better than how they've been over the last few months?

My phone pings, an unknown number appearing on the screen.

"Anyway" I look up as William stands, "I was just coming to check my partner in crime is okay?"

"I'm good" I reassure him, smiling gratefully. He's too caring for his own good.

"Good" he returns my smile and glances at his watch. "Well it's past six so I am going home to my crying, teething child, make sure you don't stay here too late. Xavier will start worrying about you."

I doubt that.

"Have a good night William" I wave him off as he leaves my office. Closing my door behind him.

Once I'm sure he's gone I open my phone, my eyes scan over the unfamiliar number and message.

Grace. Do you know your loving fiancé as well as you think you do? How much of his past has he really told you about? Has ever told you about Zana?

I have no idea who the blocked number is, but it makes my stomach churn. I load photos without thinking, I'm too curious to know what they contain.

The first photo makes me pause. It's of Xavier, and an incredibly beautiful, mesmerizing looking girl. It's an old photo, Xavier only looks about 19. He has less tattoos and a much smaller body frame than he does now. The girl beside him looks about the same age. She has long flowing blonde hair, bright eyes and tan skin. Her body is the complete opposite of mine. She has the perfectly curvy, big bum and boobs, but small waist figure guys seem to adore.

In the photo Xavier is standing incredibly close to her. Intimately close to her.

It's hard to look at if I'm completely honest. I know Xavier had past relationships with other girls before he met me, but I always try not to think about them. He was my first everything, I haven't been with anyone else but him.

The worst part about the photos I scroll through is how perfect they look together. The girl is confident, sexy, a real woman. You can tell just by the photos that she would be charming.

I don't know why I stare at them for so long. I just do.

Clearly, this girl is someone Xavier was with when he was younger. Could this be Zana?

Is this why he didn't want to tell me about her?

I stop when I see the last photo. It is again of Xavier and the mysterious model, but it's recent. I can tell because Xavier looks exactly as he does now. He has all of his most recent tattoos, and he's wearing the shirt I bought for him only a few months ago. They aren't posing for a photo, it's just been taken of them, probably without either of them realising. She is incredibly close to him and it makes my blood run cold.

I put my phone down. Unable to look at the photos any longer.

That girl... surely, she has to be Zana.

I don't know when that recent photo was taken, but Xavier went to Italy for 'business' only a few weeks ago. Was she the business?

My heart has sunk completely in my chest. I'm so many emotions right now, I don't even know how this blocked number got these photos to me.

I was already angry at Xavier and questioning our relationship and now... now I don't know what I am.

I'm definitely angry, and I definitely want answers. I've had enough of his secretive behavior. I want to know what is going on. I can't marry someone who I can't trust.

Sam:
Hey there you sexy thing. We are all having dinner at Arnicas tonight remember? Please don't be too much later I can't be around her by myself lol pray for my soul and get your ass here!!!!

I read the new message on my screen. Crap. I completely forgot we agreed to have a family dinner tonight. It's the last thing I feel like doing.

I don't feel like playing happy families with Xavier. I want to talk to him. I need to know what is going on.

I just want some answers.

And he is going to give them to me. Whether he likes them or not.