love like fools ➙ glee

twenty-seven ; teenage dream.

trigger warning(s); one homophobic slur.

. . .

You can only bend so much until you break.

Alicia knew she'd spent over a year bending her morals, bending the truth, bending herself to fit other people's perceptions of her. It was her greatest flaw. She was willing to sacrifice anything for what she believed was right. Sometimes, she wondered if she was right.

She didn't think so. And as much as she loved her friends (one different from the others), she didn't know if anyone could understand. She couldn't understand herself.

It was late evening. Usually, Alicia would be hidden away in her bedroom, listening to the RENT soundtrack while doing homework. Tonight, she talked herself into doing something different. Instead of studying in her room, she was studying at a coffee shop called the Lima Bean.

Her cell phone was tucked between her shoulder and her ear. Both of her hand were preoccupied; one flipping rapidly through her History textbook while the other scrawled words across paper. She had to finish this essay and make sure it was impressive if she was going to remain in AP History.

"Are you gonna need a ride home?"

Alicia shook her head. Too late, it occurred to her that Finn couldn't see. Also, her phone almost went flying. "No. I mean, thank you, but I think I'll catch the bus. I like riding it at night."

"That's creepy."

"It is not! I like the town at nighttime. There might not be any impressive city lights, but it's calm and peaceful, and I love seeing the stars and the people getting off work and going on with their everyday lives . . . it's fascinating to me."

Finn was silent. Alicia worried she'd lost the connection. "Finn? Are you there?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm here." He cleared his throat. "That's just . . . kind of cool."

She frowned. She couldn't decipher his tone, but it was one she rarely heard. Her worries were short-lived, concern over the unfinished essay winning. "Thanks. I think. Hey, I'm really happy we're talking tonight. I know these phone calls have been a little infrequent lately--"

"Yeah, I've missed them."

Her smile softened. She hadn't realized she was smiling until then. "I have, too. Which is why I hate cutting it short, but if I don't finish this essay and hand it in, perfected and edited, by tomorrow morning, I'm going to get in so much trouble. AP teachers are terrifying, I tell you."

Finn chuckled. "Yeah, no, it's cool, don't worry about it. I'm helping the other guys brainstorm ideas for this week's Boys versus Girls competition."

Which, in Alicia's opinion, was overdone. Not that she would tell Will that. She respected him too much. "Is Kurt there? I was hoping I could catch a ride to school with him."

"Oh. Um, no. Kurt bailed, I guess."

Alicia frowned. "What?"

"Hey, look, is it okay if we finish talking tomorrow? I should've left, like, ten minutes ago, and Puck is always a jerk if I'm late, so it's already gonna suck and--"

"You could've left it at Puck is always a jerk." She heard him snort, and she smiled. She liked making Finn happy. "I should finish this, anyway. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Uh, good luck on your essay, Ali."

"And good luck to you, kind sir, with your testosterone buddies." Ignoring Finn's protests, Alicia ended the call, setting her phone next to her textbook. As much as she loved talking to him, she would never finish this essay if she didn't tear herself away.