love like fools ➙ glee

thirty-eight ; turning tables.

Benjamin Johnson looked like he hadn't aged a day. 

It was almost impossible for Alicia to process that this was the first time she'd seen him in years.

Feeling more like a scared stray cat than she was willing to admit, her gaze darted over to her mother. Arabella looked as if she had been tossed into the Hunger Games without advanced warning. It was an appropriate reaction. Benjamin returning was their own version of a dystopian, post-apocalyptic universe.

Alicia stumbled back, only coming to a stop when she backed right into Jesse. He settled his hands on her shoulders to steady her, but she flinched away from him. She couldn't bear to see his expression. She couldn't bear much at the moment. The ground was surely swaying beneath her feet; she was going to fall and shatter any second now.

She'd imagined this situation so many times.

Her father returning. Not during Regionals, but in general? Countless occasions. She had repeatedly contemplated what she would say to him and how she would react. In these scenarios, she was always firm and stood her ground. Sometimes she yelled. Sometimes she slapped him the way she'd slapped Noah Puckerman last year.

In real life, none of that occurred.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was barely audible.

Benjamin furrowed his brows. "I came to see my daughter."

"Don't call me that," she spat. Well, maybe the yelling was just a little delayed. She felt Jesse's hawklike gaze, unmoving from its place on her. It made this harder to endure. She looked over at him, though she was careful not to meet his eyes. "Jesse. I need you to leave."

"Hastings, I'm not--"

"Go away, Jesse."

Her voice was colder than it had ever been, she was certain. Silence deafened her. After a moment, she risked another glance at Jesse, swallowing thickly when she noticed the way he was looking at her. Betrayal, almost.

I'm sorry, Jesse. But I have to do this on my own.

Without another word, Jesse slipped out of the room. Each click of his ridiculous designer boots seemed to stomp her heart a bit further into the ground.

Alicia only relaxed when the door shut behind him. Somewhat. She lifted her chin, narrowing her eyes as she met her father's tentative gaze. His eyes had never been soft when she was a little girl. Not much had changed. It just seemed like he had taken acting lessons. "What makes you possibly believe you have any right to come to these events?"

Benjamin tensed. Maybe she was irritating him. But what had he expected? Open arms and a red carpet unraveled before him? "I wanted to see my daughter perform."

"I already corrected you once. Don't make me do it again."

Arabella pursed her lips, taking a slow step forward. "Shortcake--"

"No." Alicia's voice came out in the same icy tone she'd used on Jesse. Arabella winced. She was just hurting everyone tonight, wasn't she? She couldn't even bring herself to focus on her regret. Adrenaline thumped like a ravaging hurricane in her veins. She could barely see straight. "He has no right. I'm not his anything." She aimed her glare towards him now. "You have to ruin everything, don't you?"

He crossed his arms. "I think you're behaving a little childishly, Alicia." Hearing her name in his voice again made her sick. It had been so many years. So much lost time. So much heartache and misery. So many nights spent blaming herself for his mistakes.

"I think you behaved a little childishly when you abandoned your family without a second thought," she snapped, her voice like a whip.

She had never lashed out like this.