lovely; z.m fanfic

burning up

Noelle's POV:

The cold air hits me once I walk in. The floor starts to creak as I walk up the stairs.

I hear music blasting and quietly laugh to myself. I throw my things into my room and walk into my brother's room. I stand at his doorway. All I could see was the back of his head. I guess he feels my presence and turns around and smiles.

"Noelle," he says smirking.

He then runs over to me and hugs me. Happiness fills his eyes as we both sit down.

I look down towards his floor and keep quiet. I can feel his eyes on me as I smile to the ground.

"Where the hell were you?" Luke's voice echoes through the room.

I laugh to myself instead of answering the question. I turn towards him and his eyes read confusion.I step over to sit on his couch. Then I take a deep breath before speaking.

"I went out again," I say gulping.

I hear Luke sigh as if he was giving up hope. He ran his hand through his brown hair. His blue eyes stare at me before speaking. His words open my eyes, yet hurt my heart. The room turns silent. All you could hear was the faint sound of his music. I know his blue eyes were staring at me. I knew he was awaiting an answer. I bite my bottom lip trying to avoid my tears. I took a deep breath.

"You see Luke, when I'm drunk, and I'm swallowing the truth, I can't stop," I say sighing trying to hold my tears.

"I kept drinking and drinking, drinking and drinking,"

"I wouldn't stop Luke, I couldn't," I say holding my breath

"You need to let her go."

My heart burns as his words replay in my mind. I couldn't just let go. Could I?

"You're going to end up dead if you keep drinking," he sighs and turns away from me.

I felt a pit of shame grow in my stomach. I knew I needed to stop drinking. That I had to let go of her. But I couldn't. She invaded my mind, every hour of the day. How wouldn't she? I swallow hard as I think about leaving Luke alone. I couldn't do that. But I couldn't stop drinking.

"Luke, you know once I start-"

I then start to to fidget with my fingers. I feel my body become cold. I breathed hard, trying to catch my breath. I ran my hands over my eyes, clearing my tears.

"You can't stop, I know," Luke points out rolling his eyes.

I scratch the back of my neck as awkwardness flies through the room. Luke's worried eyes look at me. What was I doing to him? What was I doing to myself?

"I really don't want to lose you to drinking," Luke says gulping.

He bites his bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears that were building up on his eyelids.

"Fuck," he says rubbing his eyes.

I see his first tear fall down and pain punches me hard. I sigh, as I feel my own tears collect themselves. Luke looks towards me and fakely smiles. I then rest my elbows on my knees. I cover my forehead with my hand as I begin to cry. Even though I was trying to keep the family together, I was tearing us apart.

"I'm sorry," my voice softly says.

Luke the wraps his arms around me. He tries to catch his breath before speaking,

"I love you."

"I love you more," I say planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

Luke, he was my best friend, my companion, my hope, my life. I love him more than any sister has ever loved their brother. Luke was special and he seemed like the only one who understood my pain. The only one who understood my loss, not only did he understand it, he experienced it too.