lovely; z.m fanfic

let go

Zayn's POV;

I rub my eyes walking over to the door. Expecting Noelle, I smile. Her voice was shaky and scared over the phone. Her brother was high, and I felt as if she was scared. Why?

I open the door with a smile on my face, quickly I lose that smile. In front of me was a man. His heart was torn out of his chest as his tears run down his face. My heart falls as my stomach swirls.

"Ben, what happened?" I stutter trying to comfort him.

"I can't, I can't. I can't Zayn. I'm driving myself crazy, pretending I'm okay? What the hell am I? I can't cover up these bruises, I can't cover up my pain," Ben spits out panicking.

I pull him inside of my apartment sitting him down on my couch. I grab him a glass of water before sitting next to him.

"So much on my fucking chest," his screams pounding on a pillow.

I grab him and squeeze him tight. Tears drop from his eyes onto my arm.

"Ben," I say looking him into his eyes.

His eyes were completely vacant. Nobody on the other side. All he is, is being poured all over with tears. He shakes as he cries even more.

"Don't, don't fucking say you're sorry! You don't know what it's like to have a crackhead as a mom and a dad that doesn't care if I'm alive," he yells exposing his neck vein.

He stands up rapidly stroking his hands through his hair.

"Why me?"

"Why do I deserve this?"

Wiping his tears he mumbles under his breathe.

"I want to die," he says pacing around the room.

The strength and certainty in his voice startles me. I slowly get up and grab him by his shoulders. His tears run faster and faster as his breathing becomes harder.

"You can't fucking die,"

"You can't kill yourself because I need you, I need you Ben," I say strictly looking straight into his eyes.

A smile paints on Ben's face as he clears his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you," Ben says extending his arms.

I pat his back as he sighs.

"I'm expecting someone," I say.

Ben smirks and steps away.

"I'll go,"

"No, stay, the person that's coming over, I want you to meet her." I say smiling.

His eyebrows meet each other as he smirks once again. He playfully slaps my shoulder as he sit down on the couch. He sits still unstable, his thoughts wander off. Every now and then his eyes would water, but he pulls himself together.