|Hero|

Chapter 38

Hey guys, here is another chapter for this book.

I know that it isn't the best chapter but it's a filler chapter and the next chapter will be interesting. Trust me. I can't wait to write it.

So again, sorry that this isn't the best chapter and also sorry that it's a bit short.

I hope you liked this chapter.

Have a great day.

*Ali's P.O.V*

Being in the car and being on my way back to Hilltop gave me sometime to think.

It was quiet and I was by myself so I was able to think about stuff and what Negan had said.

Negan is right. I have to take the lead now but I still wouldn't know how to do that. Carl was always good at leading and I was just follow his lead because he knows how to do this more than I do. Now that he's gone, I have to step in for Carl.

Carl would want me to take the lead. He would always tell me that I would have to someday and that someday is today and for the rest of my life.

I took a deep breath and continued driving this car. I needed this time to myself because I felt like ever since Carl died, I was constantly talking to people and they would say they felt sorry for me.

I appreciate everything that they're doing but I'm starting to get tired of their sympathy.

Things like this happen all the time at the most unexpected times and even though I have been moping around so much, I'll have to try and get it over and continue life. I'll have to be strong. I live off of the dead. Losing Carl, made me stronger and it also made me feel like I can do anything.

Carl wanted something different and maybe this is what he meant or maybe it was for the future.

I didn't ask for this but this is what's happening now and I have to continue it. I have no choice.

Carl isn't my past. Carl has always been my present and future and it's going to stay that way until the day I die.

I finally made it back to Hilltop and parked the car.

I got out of the car and went to the gates. Kal opened it and I went through.

People were still here and working. I know I wasn't gone long even though it might have felt like it.

I was just walking until I was stopped by Siddiq.

I don't even have time for him.

"What do you want?" I asked, in a tone that I know I shouldn't use.

"Do you have a problem with me?" He asked.

"Isn't it that obvious?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Look, I'm sorry about Carl. Maybe I should've helped but here I am trying to fix everything."

I wanted to roll my eyes.

"You be lucky that I even wanna forgive but I don't. I didn't trust you when I first saw you at the gas station. Luckily, Carl cared so much or else you wouldn't be here."

"Yeah, I know I'm lucky."

"Don't get too confident. I don't even want you here but I'm sure Michonne would be on my ass if I said anymore. I'll never forgive you for what you did and it'll be best if you leave me alone and never talk to me." I said seriously.

"I wanna make things right." He said and I can tell that he was upset.

But do I care? Not really.

"Have it your way." He sighed and then walked away.

I was happy when he finally walked away because I got tired of talking to him.

I went inside and found Maggie with Enid and Jesus.

"Hey, your back." Enid said.

"Yup, I'm back." I smiled.

"Where were you?" Jesus asked as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"I was out and about." I shrugged as if I wasn't bothered by anything and I wasn't. It's just a habit.

"You'll have to tell me about it later." Enid whispered so that I can hear and I nodded at her.

"Jesus and I have to talk about something so we'll leave you guys." Maggie said.

"Come back later." I said.

"For sure." Jesus smiled and then patted my back.

"You're close to Jesus, I see." Enid smiled at me.

I smiled and then shake my head.

"It's nothing, really though. I can't date him cause he's gay. But if he wasn't then I'll totally go after him." I said.

"How old is he anyway?"

"He has to be in his twenties." I said.

"Probably."

"So how did the conversation with Negan go? Nothing bad happened?" Enid then added.

"It surprisingly went well. He was just telling me that since Carl is gone, I would have to be the one to step in and at least fill in for Carl. He is right about it. But I just know that it's gonna be hard to do it. It's tough." I sighed.

"You'll be able to do it because I know how strong you are. It may be a lot of decision making but you can do it. I know you can." Enid smiled.

"Soon enough."

"And now back to Jesus. What is he to you?"

"I feel like he's a big brother to me. He's always helping me out and I look up to him. He's important to me." I said just thinking of him.

Jesus is a good friend.

"Would you ever tell him, that you went to see Negan?" Enid asked.

"I'm not sure because I know he's busy with what he's doing and I hate bothering at times. I always want him to be focused."

"It's your decision and maybe if you did tell him then he will understand. He's a very understanding person."

"That's true." I said.

"Just think about it."

I nodded.

She is right. Maybe I should tell Jesus but I wouldn't know how to say it or bring it up and I don't want him to be mad either.

It was my decision to see Negan and I want Jesus to understand that. Jesus is like my older brother and I don't want him mad.

We'll have to see what happens but there are other things to worry about right now.