//IRON DAD//SPIDER SON//MARVEL ONE SHOTS

An Unholy Union- Part I

(Disclaimer: No slash or anything like that- just some explosive chemistry among some of my favorite characters.)

Context: This world is a canon-divergence that takes place between Thor: Ragnarok and Infinity War. In this parallel universe, there is no looming Thanos- Nebula killed him a few years ago, and now enjoys making "Thanos' children" wait on her hand and foot. Also, FYI, The Rogues have reunited with Tony and Co. and everyone is awkward and Tony is full of thinly veiled unresolved trauma.

Now, back to the story...

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PETER POV

The Manhattan skyline was straight up trippy while upside down. Peter's bare feet clung to the thick wooden beam supporting the living room ceiling, and he let his arms hang loosely below his head. He'd been hanging for a good hour or so, just chilling -channeling his inner spider- and it was actually really relaxing. Peter recalled that time he actually fell asleep upside down- it was a couple of weeks ago, after a long patrol. Tony was the one to end up bumping into the teen -literally- while on a coffee break at three in the morning. The man nearly fainted upon seeing Peter unconscious and hanging by his toes in the dark. Safe to say, napping on the ceiling was off limits from then on. That's partly why Peter had waited for everyone to get on with their Saturday morning before taking to the ceiling.

"Hey, Pete, you in here?"

Peter looked down and saw Tony shuffling into the living space from the lab entrance. The man looked ragged - then again, he always did after pulling a few all-nighters in the workshop. Peter cleared his throat, and the inventor flinched before casting a sour glance upward. "Jeez, kid- give me a coronary before noon, won't ya?" Peter just snickered to himself. Tony was definitely not a morning person- though to be fair, Peter didn't think anyone could be chipper for three days straight, running on coffee and adhd.

"Can we not have a spider kid on the ceiling so early, though?" Tony grumbled as he made it to the coffee station and began making himself yet another shot of espresso- all without opening his eyes, which was a feat in and of itself. Peter sighed, knowing he wouldn't get in a word edgewise on the matter, so he willed his feet to release their hold, then tucked into a flip before landing on the carpet with hardly a thud.

"Good morning sleepyhead." Peter skipped to his mentor's side, knowing the reaction his cheerful tone would cause. Tony did not disappoint. "Aw- cut the crap, Pete. I'm an old man in need of caffeine and a face lift. Give me peace- all I ask." Peter grinned cheekily and hopped up onto the kitchen counter. There was a bowl of assorted fruit by his side, and he began going through all the green apples, looking for the best one. "Pepper says that your weekly sleep quota is 24 hours-" Tony groaned into his steaming cup. "-so...I think maaaaybe you should take advantage of this lazy Saturday morning to -you know- catch up on some z's?" Peter finally picked out the shiniest green apple, then looked up to meet Tony's heavy expression. Another long drink, then the man whipped out a pointed finger and- "Ok, first of all, I- am a grown. man. Secondly-" Tony hesitated as he swayed forward, and Peter reached out to catch him, if necessary. The man was clearly dead on his feet, staying upright through sheer stubbornness, and Peter couldn't help giving his mentor The Eyebrow Of Doubt™️. Meanwhile, Tony regained his balance, and continued, "-Secondly, I have a meeting in a few hours, so there. Coffee shall sustain me." Tony lifted his mug at the end of his sentence, as if to toast the coffee gods, and resolutely ignored Peter's skepticism as he took another appreciative sip.

TONY POV

Tony always knew he had the worst luck- I mean, to be involved in more global crisis than he had fingers was definitely sub-optimal- but this one took the cake. This was the ultimate fustercluck. Boss level crapfest. The toughest break to ever go down on your realities's favorite punching bag, Anthony Edward Stark.