The Naked Lady Says...Oh Shit!

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The rest of the kids were all back in their seats when John and Vernon came in the room. 

Vernon pushed John. "Get your stuff, let's go!"-Vernon looked the others-"Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of of the day".

"B-O-O-H-O-O!" John spoke.

Vernon gave him a cold stare. "Everything's a big joke, huh, Bender? The false alarm you pulled, Friday, false alarms are really funny, aren't they.. what if your home, what if your family... what if your dope was on fire?"

"Impossible sir... It's in Johnson's underwear" John replied.

Evelyn held in a giggle as Andrew let out a cute laugh.

Vernon glared at Andrew. "You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's bitchin', is that it? Lemme tell you something. Look at him, he's a bum."-Vernon looked at everyone-"You wanna see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years! You'll see how God damned funny he is!"

He walked over to John. "What's the matter, John? You gonna cry? Let's go..." Vernon grabbed him by the shoulder, but they were quickly moved away as John slapped them off.

"Hey, keep your fuckin' hands off me! I except better manners from you, Dick!" John snapped. He walked over to Andrew and took his sunglasses out of his pocket and laid it in front of Andrew.

"For better hallway vision" John spoke, slapping Andrew on the back, playfully.

"Wise ass" Evelyn smiled, earning a grin from John. "Keep her" John spoke to Andrew.

John left but not before pushing stuff off the principle's desk.

As they went out of sight Andrew looked at Evelyn. "I think I will".

-

Vernon shoved John in a closet and was now talking to him.

"That's the last time, Bender. That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, do you hear me? I make $31, 000 dollars a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it away on some punk like you. But someday, man, someday. When you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place. And they've forgotten all about you and you've got wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you, man, I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt!"

"Are you threatening me?" John asked in disbelief.

"What're you gonna do about it? You think anybody's gonna believe you? You think anybody's gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around here, I'm a swell guy, you're a lying sack of shit! And everybody knows it. Oh, you're a real tough guy,"-Vernon took off his coat, leaving him in his black shirt-"Come on, come on, get on your feet pal! Let's find out how tough you are! I wanna know right now, how tough you are! Come on! I'll give you the first punch, let's go! Come on, right here, just take the first shot! Please, I'm begging you, take a shot!  Come on, just take one shot, that's all I need, just one swing"

John just sat there, staring at Vernon with wide eyes. Vernon fakes a punch and John flinched.

"That's what I thought... you're a gutless turd!" Vernon left the closet, closing the door after him. After he left John climbed into a hatch in the ceiling and disappeared.

-

John is slowly crawling through a heating duct, talking to himself.

"A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under on arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, I suppose you won't be needing a drink. The naked lady says-" The ceiling under John gives and he falls through.

"Oh shit!!!!!" He screamed.

-

Evelyn giggled as she fed Andrew strawberries but paused when she heard a scream. Andrew took off his sunglasses. Brian was eating and stopped when he heard the noise. Allison and Claire looked to see where it came from.

They saw John walk down the stairs. The students stared at him.

"Forgot my pencil" John stated. Evelyn eyed him, smirking.

"God Dammit!" They heard Vernon's voice in the hallway.

He entered the room.

"What was that ruckus?" Vernon asked.

"Uh, what ruckus?" Andrew spoke, acting dumbfounded.

"I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus!" Vernon replied.

"Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" Brian said.

"Watch your tongue young man, watch it!" Vernon warned.

John hid under the table by Claire's legs. He tried sitting up but banged his head on the table, he groaned.

Above the table Andrew and Evelyn try to take credit for the noise by making more noise.

"What is that? What, what is that, what is that noise?" Vernon asked confused.

John looked between Claire's legs and saw her panties. He puts his head between her legs. Claire squealed before pretending to cough. She squeezed John's head between her knees. Everyone started faking a coughing fit.

"That noise? Was that the noise you were talking about?" Evelyn spoke.

"No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was talking about. Now, I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I will" Vernon promised.

Allison laughed at him.

"You may book on that, missy!" Vernon said before turning to Evelyn. "And you! I will not be made a fool of! Now that Bender is taken care of, you're next!".

"Great, I'm the next victim" She spoke sarcastically, grinning.

Vernon huffed, walking away. The students see toilet seat cover stuck in his pants as he left. They all laughed, except for Claire who lets John out of the table to give him multiple slaps.

"It was an accident" John spoke.

"You're an asshole!" Claire snapped.

"Sue me" John replied.

He got up and walked over to Brian.

"Hey, Ahab, give me my doobage" John said. Brian gave his bag of marijuana back. John turned and walked away.

"Yo wastoid, you're not gonna blaze up in here!" Andrew called after him.

Andrew shook his head as Claire was about to go after John but she did anyway. Brian looked at Andrew and mouthed 'You going?'. Andrew mouthed 'I'm not gonna'. Brian fiddled with his fingers before going after them.

Evelyn stood up. "You're not going are you?" Andrew spoke. She nodded. "You should go to 'cause if I get high enough we might do something" She winked before walking away.

"Shit" Andrew smirked, grabbing the sunglasses, following her.

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