Troubled Soul (manxman) *Completed*

Four: Noah

"Ugh damn come on," I grumbled while taking the brownies out of the oven. Had I lost my spark? Why have all the desserts I've been making recently been burning? It was like I forgot how to bake. "Stupid chocolate... UGH." Chucking the tray onto the island, I turned the oven off while my phone started ringing.

Without looking at it I answered and heard a quiet, "Hey Noah."

Leaning against the island, I stared down at my bare feet while hearing the voice of my brother. "Hey Greg. How's it going?"

He sighed as a crash was heard from somewhere in the distance. "Fine I guess."

"Are you sure?"

Greg was silent for another minute which was honestly starting to piss me off. "I may have done something."

I groaned while basically slamming my head onto the island. "For the love of god, please tell me you didn't start drinking again."

Greg was actually doing great, emphasis on was. He had moved back to New Mexico a little while ago and was actually involved in my children's lives again. He had always had a problem with drinking and drugs occasionally, but actually got sober. After he got sober, it was like he was a different person. He was actually coming around more and hanging out, and we had actually gotten a lot closer. And since we had gotten closer, I don't think I'd be able to handle him not being here.

The silence I received from the other end made me shake my head in frustration. "Are you fucking kidding me Greg?" I shouted while starting to walk around the kitchen. I vaguely heard a door somewhere, hopefully a robber coming in to just end it all. "How could you do this?"

"Look, it isn't that simple okay!" He shouted right back. "Things have just been... rough."

Stupid angry tears were threatening to fall as I kept shaking my head. "That new rehab place you went to was working! How does it always not work for you?"

"Because I'm obviously stupid! Okay Noah, I'm not as perfect as you or your family."

"I never said that."

"In a way you did."

We stayed silent for a few more minutes until he sighed and said, "Look, I'm not a complete drunk like I used to be okay? I just slipped a little bit. And I thought that you would've been more supportive."

"Been more supportive? Of what, you ruining your life? God Greg, I really thought you had started to change. One thing I can say is that if you continue to drink, you're not welcome in my house."

Greg angrily sighed while he said, "I'm not going to beat the shit out of anyone! Come on, Noah you guys are family."

"That's never stopped you before." That shut him up real quick and I honestly didn't want to talk to him anymore. "Look I have to go, you can call me later."

He stayed quiet for a little while longer until he said, "Fine. I'm sorry Noah."

With that he hung up, aggravating me to the point of throwing the burnt brownie pan into the sink. Gripping onto the sides of the sink, I cried to the point of almost getting sick. When I turned around, I stopped when I saw Wes leaning against the wall. He was watching me with concerned eyes before walking over and wrapping his arms around me.

"I just don't get it," I cried into his chest as he held me. "He knows how drinking messes up his life, how can he just go back?"

Wes started rubbing my back as he held onto me tighter. "Noah, it's not like he's doing this on purpose. This is a disease, one that he's struggled with for a long time. I know you're angry and upset, but you can't give up on him. I know how close you two have gotten and I know this is rough." He pulled back slightly to look into my eyes while he wiped the tears away. "You can't just let him go, okay? He needs you now more than ever. But you need to take some time and cool off before you talk to him again."

I nodded as he gave me a sad smile. His eyes then wandered over to the sink, where he must've seen the brownies. "I don't know what happened," I whispered. "I think I've lost my touch."

With that Wes laughed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no. That's not possible. You know how to bake; you just need to get back into your baking head again."

"Knock knock!" Cleo's sudden voice made me instantly wipe my eyes with my sleeves. I didn't want my kids to see me so weak; I didn't even want my husband to see me like this.

Poking my head around Wes' tall body, I smiled while seeing my daughter walking into the kitchen. "Hi honey!" I instantly walked over to her and hugged her, kissing her head. "How are you?"

She smiled at me before she actually looked at my face. Her smile faded as she took in my probably gross face. "Dad, are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah, of course. I just burnt some brownies and it made me upset. How are you?"

Cleo still didn't look convinced as she said, "I'm good. Hi father," she said as Wes came over to hug her.

"Hi sweetie."

"Sorry for just showing up unannounced."

Rolling my eyes I said, "Cleo don't even say that. You know you and your brother can come here at any time. Okay?" She nodded before smiling.

"I was actually wondering if we could make some cookies? I've just really missed doing that recently."

"Oh of course! Wes do you want to help us?"

"Let me go change and I'll be right back." He gently kissed my head before walking out of the kitchen. My eyes followed after him, I don't think I'll ever get over him being in a suit.

After pulling Cleo into the kitchen, we started gathering ingredients. After awhile Wes came back and also started to help. "So tell me," I said while we all started to get our hands dirty with batter. "How's work going?"

She nodded while continuing to stare down at the cookie dough in her hands. "I think it's going really well. The only thing that's bothering me is the way the other teachers keep talking to me."

"They're not bullying you are they?" Wes asked.

"No, they've been really nice. It's just; everyone won't stop asking me when Sebastian and I are going to have kids. You know that I do want kids eventually, just not now. But the more that people keep asking me about it, I just feel like I'm disappointing them. And... I feel like I'm disappointing my parents as well."

I shared a look with Wes who looked just as shocked as I asked, "And why would we be disappointed?"

She finally looked up from the cookie dough, deeply sighing as she shrugged. "I don't know, that I want to wait to have kids. I know you guys really want grandchildren."

"Cleo," I said while walking towards her. After wiping my hands off, I put them on either side of her face. "You could never disappoint us okay? And yes we might want grandchildren, but your happiness will always come first. We would never be upset that you're wanting to focus on your career and your life. No one can tell you what to do with your life or your body, especially a man."

"Sebastian isn't pressuring you is he?" Wes asked.

Cleo shook her head while saying, "Absolutely not. He understands that I'm just not ready, and he gets that I actually want to work. All of these pressures are just getting to me."

Wes wrapped his arms around her, his long arms practically engulfing her small frame. "You will never disappoint anyone because you decide to wait to have children. Even if you decide you don't want children, that's okay too. We just want you to be happy."

I smiled while watching them together. Their relationship had really gotten stronger over the years; Wes was definitely wrapped around her finger. It made me think to the future if she does decide to have children; man will Wes become even more in love. He was great with children; it'll be even greater when they're our actual grandchildren.

Cleo pulled back as Wes kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, both of you."

"Let's finish these cookies," I said while turning back towards the dough.

As we continued to work on the cookies, I couldn't help but think about Greg. I really hope I don't end up losing him.