The Razor's Edge: A Jack Frost Fanfiction

Chapter 10

It took me 2 minutes to write the letter. I explained all the reasons why I had to go; I poured my whole heart out onto a page, yet something was still telling me to stay. Whatever it is, I have 8 minutes to sort it out.

I felt Jamie's hand rest on my shoulder, tearing me away from my nightmarish thoughts.

"I'm really glad you came today Jack, I was hoping you would come by soon. I've been needing someone to talk to about some things."

I couldn't bring myself to turn and face him.

"Like what." My voice was barely above a whisper, but it didn't seem like Jamie noticed.

"I've been thinking about... dying recently and-" I cut Jamie off by abruptly standing up and knocking the chair I was sitting on to the floor.

I grabbed Jamie by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes, not caring if he could read the pain in my face. "You listen to me and you listen good, don't you ever think about killing yourself, Jamie! Do you understand? You've got your whole damn life ahead of you, and you're like no one I've ever met before. You have a heart of pure gold, and if you ever try to take that away from this world I'll... I'll..." I trailed off, out of breath and out of time. Only 4 minutes left.

"You'll what?" Jamie questioned, "you can't do anything if you're dead, Jack."

My eyes widened with surprise. "But, how?"

"I had a feeling with the way you were acting when you got here, and then I peeked over your shoulder while you were writing." Jamie looked angry but I could tell he was hurt.

"I'm so sorry, Jamie. I never meant for any of this. I just can't fix the mess I've become, I gave it one last try but that failed and now there's nothing left." Suddenly all the tears that I was too numb to make before, started to fall.

"That's not true. I don't know what you're going through, but I do know that you have friends who are always going to be here for you. You have me, Tooth, Bunny, Sandy, and North and nothing will ever change that. I need you, Jack." Now Jamie was out of breath, "please stay."

What am I doing? Two people have already told me they need me. What gives me the right to be such a coward?

1 minute left.

"I-I don't know how... to stay. Not after I told myself I would die tonight. I don't know how I would bear it. I have to decide, and there's not enough time." I clutched my head in my hands and tried to breathe.

"If you really wanted to die, it wouldn't be such a hard choice."

My breath caught in my throat at his words. He was right, I can't die.

My knees gave out, and I fell to the floor a mess.

Times up.

"You're right Jamie," I choked out between sobs, "I'm not ready to die yet. I'm sorry I did this to you... I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything. Like I said before, I'm always happy to be with you."

*****

Jamie eventually fell asleep despite his best efforts to keep me company.

Though I was no longer planning to end my life, I wasn't feeling much better about having to accept my eternal existence all over again. Guilt and shame washed over me as I imagined the faces of all the people that cared about me. What would those faces look like if I was dead right now? Probably not happy.

I left Jamie's bedroom, and crept into the bathroom down the hall. After I gently closed the door behind me, my eyes landed on something sliver. Gleaming under the florescent light of the bathroom on the black, marble countertop, it sat there staring back at me. I was morbidly curious about how different this would feel from my ice.

My hand began to reach for it before I could tell it to stop. Right before the metal touched my skin, I came to my senses and placed the razor back on the counter. Instead, opting to dig my nails into my palms. It wasn't enough, and that scared me.

I slid down the bathroom door and landed on the floor. Something had fallen out of my pocket and landed with a soft thud on a blue rug.

With barely any fight left in me, I turned my head to see what it was.

There I saw the memories Tooth had given me hours ago. I hadn't remembered where I had put them or if I even brought them; all I could think about was dying at the time.

I slowly released my nails from my palms, which oddly hurt more than actually digging them in. With crescent moon indents left behind, my hand moved lightly towards the top of my useless box of memories.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

I felt the little box start to get warmer and I heard a comforting voice.

"What th-" I was cut off by a sudden explosion of light from underneath my fingertips.

And finally, I could see.

A/N: Sorry the ending of this chapter is so bad, I couldn't figure out how to word it. But if there's any confusion just ask. I'll answer as fast as possible, and try to clear it up in the story too :)