Four+

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© Amber Kalkes 2014

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"She's Lost Control" By Joy Division

Four+

The lights flick on but I barely notice them as I convulse on my bed. My wrist is snapped towards my body, my body arched and all my muscles jerking while my eyes roll into the back of my head. Distantly I know something is touching me but I can’t register it, it’s too far away.

Before my eyes and in my mind things are flashing too fast for me to latch onto as a coherent thought. I recognize a few things though but one big thing in particular keeps showing up over and over again. Violet eyes keep flashing into my vision and they carry various emotions. Affection, aggression, sadness and pain all reflect through these unusual eyes as they replay in these visions.

Need me to explain?

See, to the outside viewer you would think what the doctors, parents and most normal people would think as you look at me. They call it an epileptic seizure but I don’t. I call it a vision. When I had my first one at seven they thought I was crazy when I told them I saw things, things that would happen in the future. They said it was a side effect of the seizures but something inside me knew that wasn’t right. Despite any doubts I had though they were dismissed and another pretty pill was added to my routine.

When they kept happening I did research and realized I was what people in the more paranormal based community called a clairvoyant. It’s a long funny sounding work for a person who can see the future. These episodes don’t happen often but when they do I try really hard to pay attention despite the acrobatics my body is doing at the moment.

The whole ordeal only lasts about three minutes max but its like I just ran a triathlon as my body begin to release all the tension. I come back into my body from wherever the hell I just was and my eyes snap open to see Mrs. Lang hovering over me with a concerned look on her aged face.

“Hi.” I gasp out.

She smiles sadly at me, “It’s been awhile.”

I lay there panting for a few seconds before I nod.

“Do you need anything?”

“Advil. My head is killing me.” I mutter.

She nods, “Anything else?”

“Oh, um, my notebook please?”

Mrs. Lang nods and walks over to my side table on the other side of my bed and opens the top drawer before handing me the black spiral binding notebook. I’m not lazy I swear it’s just after an episode my limbs feel a thousand pounds so moving is nearly impossible.

Mrs. Lang leaves with a lingering concerned look and I lazily flip open to the next blank page before writing one word in black ink:

Gideon.

+

I wake up feeling kind of gross.

Last night I didn’t get the chance to shower and I actually think I passed out before I could even see Mrs. Lang again. Cracking my eyes open I wince at the bright light streaming through my windows. Dear god, why are my curtains open? I glance over at the side table unsurprised to see a pretty fresh looking glass of orange juice and two red tablets on the side table.

Sitting up clumsily I down both the pills and the juice. I rub my aching eyes with the heels of my hands I groan. The morning after is always the worst and it seems this morning is no different. Leaning back on my elbows I notice my notebook sitting beside me. Flipping it open I reread the one word I wrote last night.

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