always have been, always will be | jensoo

Can We Have This Moment

Some hours later, I trudge up the steps to my apartment building, my steps loud and my limbs heavy.

I squint my eyes closed against the oncoming migraine. All the day's events are swirling around my head, not making it easy for me to get any peace of mind. I'm exhausted from the tips of my fingers to my temples.

I push the door open, getting a waft of cigarette smoke, blueberry and the ever present smell of hard wood floor. I hear Jiyeon talking to someone, and I frown. I was ready to throw myself onto the couch and sleep for days, but I instead I poke my head around to corner into the kitchen.

"Hey, kid." Jiyeon has a cigarette dangling from her lips, smoke puffing out of her nostrils, and she's holding a giant blueberry muffin in one hand. "Muffin?"

Across from Jiyeon, leaning her elbows onto the marble countertop and whose eyes are currently looking everywhere but at mine, is Jisoo.

I shake my head almost imperceptibly at Jiyeon, who just takes a big bite out of hers and slings an apron over her shoulder. "Jisoo made 'em."

"And they're edible?" I joke weakly, for the benefit of both of them. Jiyeon grins, taking another bite and grabbing her keys off of a hook on the refrigerator.

"Jisoo here showed up about an hour ago." Jiyeon starts loudly, butting out her cigarette in the sink. Jisoo stays silent. "I told her you weren't here, but that I would be glad to keep her company while she waited." Jiyeon checks her watch. "And I have work in several moments...so, you two play nice."

I stand on the other side of the room watching them, arms crossed, feeling like I was coming apart at the seams. Jisoo sat quietly on a bar stool, still refusing to look at me.

"It was great to finally meet you, Jisoo." Jiyeon says to her, shooting me a look. "After hearing about you so long it's nice to put the name to a face."

"Same here." Jisoo agreed, her voice small. "Thanks for waiting with me."

"Ah ha. No trouble. Thanks for the muffins." She winks at Jisoo, then swaggers over to me.

"Stop smoking in the house." I tell her in a low voice, but my eyes are saying something completely differently.

Jiyeon just laughs at me, handing me her half eaten muffin. "See you when I get off, turd." She sticks out her tongue and claps me on the back, leaning in to stage whisper. "She's adorable."

She hums and strolls out the door, and when it's shut there's a new tension in the room. I look at Jisoo for a second, but I drop her gaze as soon as I catch it and walk to my room, feeling defeated.

It's too appealing to look at Jisoo, to watch her move around in my apartment. She blends seamlessly with the walls, her hands are all over the marble, she's sitting on my barstool. She's marking up my house as her own territory and she doesn't even know it.

She looks like she belongs. I plop down on my bed, not even knowing what to say to Jisoo, or why she's here. I figure she'll come to me. I still have no idea what to say to her.

Several minutes pass before I hear footsteps indicating that Jisoo was finally finding her way to my room. She lingers at the doorway.

"You can come in."

Hesitating only a second, she walks in and stands at the end of the bed, putting her purse down. Then she fusses with her hands.

"Your roommate's funny."

"She's alright." I do not rise from my position on the bed. I'm curled up on my side staring straight at her.

"Sorry for freaking out today."