Requiem for a Soldier (Requiem #1)

Chapter 41: SNAFU

October 19

Ana

"He's not dead, you fool!"

I nearly shout at the book in my hands. Casper looks up at me from his spot near my feet. The female protagonist has given up hope that her love has survived a plane crash, despite the fact that he's very, very alive and trying to find her. In my frustration, I look up from the book and out the window. It's getting dark outside. Drawn out of the story and back into real life, the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach returns.

I've spent the day alternating between berating myself for not speaking up last night and trying to read to keep my mind off what happened. I should have said something. I should have told him! But I was just so blindsided by the realization that he doesn't hate me, that his actions were born out of a heightened sense of self-defense instead of general disgust for me. He'd been avoiding me for so long that I thought he was mad at me, not... whatever this is.

I waited for hours for him to come back inside last night. He must have returned after I fell asleep waiting because I found a note that said he'd be fishing until dinner. He wasn't here when I woke. I look at the clock. It's a little after 6 pm. The sun has nearly gone down and Ryan's still not back. I frown. He probably wanted some time away from me to sort out what happened last night. I don't blame him. I feel terrible for giving him the wrong impression.

I walk to the cabin door and open it. A gust of cold air greets me. I shiver, unsure how much is from the cold and how much is dread. Casper sticks his head out of the door, but won't go outside.

We both jump in alarm as the weather radio begins blaring a warning. I close the door, cross the room and stand over the radio, almost bashing it to pieces in my attempts to make the wretched noise end. The "warning" indicator is lit up in red and the words "BLIZZARD WARNING" scan across the small blue LCD screen. I can feel my heart drop inside of me.

The radio automatically begins to broadcast the warning to the room in a robotic computer-generated voice: "This is a statement from the National Weather Service in Fairbanks, Alaska."

I race into the bedroom and grab my winter gear out of the closet.

"Blizzard warning in effect from 6:15 pm Friday to 6 am Sunday," trickles into the bedroom from the little mechanical doomsayer in the living room. I drag my gear out with me to hear as much detail as possible.

"Conditions are expected to deteriorate Friday evening with the heaviest snow, strongest winds, and potential life-threatening conditions expected Friday night through Saturday. Impacts: heavy snow and blowing snow will cause dangerous conditions and will be a threat to life and property. Travel is expected to be severely limited if not impossible during the height of the storm Friday night and Saturday. Visibility will be reduced to near zero at times and whiteout conditions."

I grab a flashlight, though I doubt it'll help much if there's too much snow to see. When I step outside, I'm greeted with cold rain. It's unpleasant, but I'm grateful it's not snowing yet.

By the time I reach the river, it's getting too dark to see well without the flashlight. The wind is picking up too. Calling for Ryan, I start heading upriver toward his preferred spots. At each one, I stop, look for any sign of him or any recent human activity, and find nothing. When I reach the last one, I still haven't found him. Maybe I shouldn't have left Casper back in the cabin. Would he be able to track Ryan? I start to panic. It's completely dark now and a few snowflakes have mixed in with the rain. The flashlight beam becomes dimmer. Dammit! Why didn't I think to grab fresh batteries? I shut it off to preserve the little power it has left. As my eyes adjust to the dark, I see a faint orange glow.