no denying it // namjin

note

Jin woke up with a warm weight against his chest and a dead arm. He blinked himself fully awake and tried to look around through bleary eyes. Judging from the shadow cast over the room and the slither of moon he could see through the partially opened curtains, it was the middle of the night. A quick check of his phone confirmed this.

He settled back down on the bed and felt the body pressed against his shift a little and sigh. Eyes adjusted to the darkness a little more by now, Seokjin craned his neck to look again at their face. Namjoon was lying peacefully, his long eyelashes tickling his cheeks and his hair over his face. Jin smiled at the  sight.

Memories of last night came back to him after gazing at Namjoon. He thought of how broken the taller had been, how the tears falling from his eyes had seemed endless and it looked to an outsider like he had never been happy before. The smile fell off Jin's face and he hugged him tighter subconsciously. His heart broke at the memory of Namjoon crying so desperately. The way he had clung to his shirt as he leant into Jin's shoulder made him frown, mirroring his expression at the time.

Namjoon scrunched his nose at the realisation that he was awake. He sighed softly and snuggled back into the warmth engulfing him from behind.
"Are you awake?" Jin whispered from over his shoulder. He smiled at the sound of his voice, comforting and familiar. His arms lifted from his waist temporarily as Namjoon rolled over. Their faces were milimetres apart as both boys smiled at eachother fondly.

"Why are you up?" Jin smiled a little wider at Namjoon's question and stroked his face affectionately.
"I don't know, just woke up. Why are you awake?"
"Same." Namjoon shuffled closer so that their noses touched and giggled at the contact. Jin ruffled his hair before kissing him firmly.

"Sorry,"
"Sorry for what?"
"Not cuddling you. I'm being so pathetic and needy." Jin sighed and pulled him closer to emphasise his point.
"I want to cuddle you for a change. And you're not being pathetic Joonie, you're being so so strong."

Namjoon almost started crying again at the praise and compliments from Jin. No one really said stuff like this to him, especially not beautiful boys he was in love with. He pulled Jin's arms away from his waist and clutched them tightly, bringing them to his lips. Jin blushed and giggled in a flustered manner before swatting Namjoon away playfully.

They kept holding hands and fell back to sleep with Jin rubbing the pads of his thumbs over Namjoon's hands, which was so soothing he hardly noticed the tingles that shot through him whenever they touched.

They fell into a deep sleep and only woke up when Jin's mother came in, fussing about them being late for school.
"Boys! It's-" She stopped on her path to open the curtains and smiled fondly at Namjoon and Jin once she saw them curled up together. Jin stirred a little and opened his eyes, so she grinned and backed out slowly, pushing the door shut behind herself.

Last night, Jin had escorted Namjoon to his house. He had almost carried him the whole way as he was weak from the tears and the stress. Mrs. Kim had been shocked at his state and demanded an explanation, making the boys sweet tea as Namjoon tried to get a few words out and Jin filled in the gaps. Afterwards, she had sent the boys upstairs because, "Poor Joon needs his rest!" and they had fallen asleep soon after that. She had temporarily forgotten Namjoon's ordeal, but once the sight of them had reminded her she let them stay in bed and headed off for work. They weren't in the right state of mind for school right now.

Seokjin woke up the second time to an empty bed. Sunlight grazed across his forehead as he stretched, moving across the bed a little as he did so. He sighed as he looked up at the ceiling, tired and still a little out of it. When he sat up, he saw that the curtains were open and Namjoon's half of the bed was neatly made, crinkled a bit where Jin had disturbed it.

Namjoon. Jin sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes.
"Joon?" He said this more to himself than as a call for the younger; his weak sleepy voice probably wouldn't reach the other side of the room.

Swinging his legs out of bed, Jin yawned and bent down to look in the mirror which was propped against the wall, ruffling his hair so he looked less like he had just woken up. The stairs were cold on his bare feet as Jin descended the stairs. He was expecting to see Namjoon eating some breakfast or watching TV, but he couldn't see him at all from this position. Thinking that he could be in the living room, he peeked his head around the door. It was empty too.

Jin continued to look in every room, occasionally calling out Namjoon's name, but the house was weirdly empty. He returned to the kitchen in confusion, looking out of the window as if Namjoon would be stood in the garden in the morning frost. Of course, he wasn't. Jin shook his head and crossed the room, but stopped as something caught his eye. There was a piece of paper taped to the fridge, with Joon's unmistakable handwriting all over it, slanted and slightly swirly. Jin tore it down and his eyes skimmed over it, frowning as he got further down the letter.

Jin,
Sorry I left so suddenly. I know it must be horrible to wake up and I'm gone. I just can't do this - us, I mean. I can't take everyone staring at me and whispering about me, and now my parents have found out and they're not happy either. Don't try to find me, you won't succeed anyway.
Sorry again. I hope you know that you mean everything to me.
Joonie