no denying it // namjin

advice

Seokjin: Hey Namjoon. I know you probably hate me and I completely get that and all and you don't have to reply or anything but I just wanted to say thank you for everything. I was so horrible and you still helped me you're too sweet

Seokjin: Fuck sorry I'm rambling. I'll leave you alone now

Namjoon reread the message for what must have been the third time at least, his tired eyes straining to comprehend the long sentence. Seokjin had definitely been right when he said he was rambling. He grasped the basic point of the text before his phone screen went black, refusing to turn back on again.

Honestly, it was a miracle that the battery had lasted this long. Namjoon had been checking it every few minutes since leaving Hoseok's house. He couldn't sleep without knowing for sure that Jin was safe and happy - although his common sense told him that he would be fine with Hoseok.

He leant over the bed to plug in his phone, and then flopped down on his stomach. The bright sunlight made it impossible to even try and sleep now, especially when it was bouncing off the white walls of Yoongi's guest bedroom like they were mirrors, but he figured he should at least catch a little rest.

The annoyingly fancy silk sheets rubbed against Namjoon's face as he shifted about, making a rustiling noise that grated on his ears. Normally this would have been enough to make him get up and forget resting alltogether, but his heart rate had slowed to a somewhat normal pace for the first time in hours and he needed this.

Apparently, Yoongi did not care about the lack of sleep Namjoon had suffered through last night. He slammed the door open not ten minutes later, eliciting a mumbled curse from the younger.

"Morning! Well- afternoon," Yoongi began to reach for the curtains to open them, but stopped in his tracks.
"Oh. You didn't close them, did you?"
Namjoon simply groaned.
"Yoongi, I'm in bed."
"Yep, my bed. And it's time to get out of it."

He stood with his arms crossed and a firm look on his face, glaring when Namjoon remained where he was.
"Kim Namjoon!" Still no response.
"Get up now or I'll whoop your ass."

Shortly after, they were sat at the kitchen table with bowls of cereal, Namjoon wearing a permanent grimace.
"My back hurts."
"Should've thought about that before you attatched yourself to my bed, then."

True to his word, Yoongi had tipped up the bed so that Namjoon slid off it when the taller paid no attention to his warning. Anyone should know better than to mess with Min Yoongi, but in his sleepy state Namjoon thought that he might go easy on him after the night he'd had. But Yoongi had never gone easy on anyone and probably never would.

"So," Yoongi began, setting down his spoon in the small puddle of milk in his bowl. "How're you feeling about last night?"

Namjoon took another mouthful as he thought the question over. How was he doing? He hadn't thought about himself much since seeimg Jin and Brian together. His brain had been full of anger then, jealousy, hate. He and Jin weren't even talking and yet this random got to touch him like that? A storm had begun in Namjoon's head at the start of all this, and it had reached it's worst at the party. He had no memory of hitting Brian, only of carrying Jin home and taking care of him.

He was still angry, he supposed, at Seokjin for cheating on him. It only heightened his paranoia about the elder's past, and he felt betrayed. But he also couldn't bring himself to care that much. It wasn't that he was over Jin, or ready to excuse that kind of behaviour, but he just adored him too much to ever be truly angry at him.

Replacing the anger he should be feeling was a weird emptiness. It felt like something had drained from his body when he saw Jin with Brian, and it hadn't returned. The feeling made Namjoon uncomfortable; it felt almost like his insides were cold, his heart suspended in a Jin-less void.

Finally, with a prompt from Yoongi in the form of a raised eyebrow, Namjoon replied.
"Okay, I guess. I don't regret punching that guy, for sure." Yoongi laughed at this, nodding slightly. "But.... I don't know. He texted me this morning. I didn't sleep waiting for him to text me."

"I guessed as much. You look like shit." It was said as a joke but Yoongi's face showed only concern for his friend.
"Are you mad at him?"

"Honestly... no." Namjoon swept a hand over his face and looked back to see Yoongi with his brow furrowed.
"I can't be. He's too- too perfect. I just care about him way too much."

Yoongi wasn't keen on physical affection, but he did pat Namjoon on the shoulder comfortingly.
"Damn right you care too much. You deserve better, Joon." His face was slightly pink, not used to giving conpliments, and his tone was flat, but Namjoon smiled widely, though weakly.
"Thanks hyung. I should talk to him really but I think I'll leave it a day or two. It's still too... fresh,"

A moment of silence lingered in the air as the boys turned the situation over in their minds. Yoongi looked as if he wanted to say something, but Namjoon cut him off before he could turn the thought into a sentence. He just couldn't talk about this anymore; it hurt to even think about Jin with another guy.

"But anyway-- how are you? Seen Tae recently?"

"Yeah, we meet occaisionally. He's doing okay, but..." Yoongi paused and grimaced. "He's still in with the wrong crowd. It's just not us this time."

That rendered them speechless for a few seconds longer until Namjoon decided that it was better to quiz Yoongi than to think about their interlinked - and undeniably horrible - past.

"Hmm. What about love?" It was a stupid question, a sign that Namjoon was too wrapped up in his own head, but he still didn't miss the flash of a blush that crept across Yoongi's cheeks. Sadly, it was gone too quick for him to make fun of it.

"Uhmmm..." He scratched at the back of his head awkwardly. "Nothing at the moment." Yoongi stood abruptly and grabbed their bowls, dumping them into the sink even though Namjoon wasn't finished.
"Got your eye on someone, hyung?"

The teasing tone made Yoongi turn back around, looking mad.
"Hey! Don't push it, Namjoon." The younger simply laughed, earning himself a glare. A moment later though, Yoongi spoke up again, staring down at his feet.

"I, um.... your friend Jungkook..." The sentence was left unended, hanging in the air for Namjoon to interpret.
"He is very cute. And I know you like younger people,"

He didn't even get reprimanded for his assumption of the ending to Yoongi's sentence, just a deeper blush and a small smile.
"Yeah. He just... ah, he's beautiful,"
Stars flickered in Yoongi's eyes as he thought about Jungkook. It reminded Namjoon of how Jin used to look at him.

"You should talk to him." Yoongi's head snapped up.
"What?! Are you out of your mind?"
"It's no big deal, hyung. Just message him, get friendly. Then you can see if he's interested."

Yoongi sighed reluctantly.
"What if he's not? Interested, I mean,"
"Then," Namjoon folded his hands as if he was a buisinessman making an offer Yoongi couldn't refuse. "You make him interested."

"Sounds like you might need to take your own advice, Joon."