Anxiety with a ribbon [Poetry]

"Communicate"

I'll try to explain to you
I'm searching for the right words
I could keep it simple
Say I'm no good with words
But that's not true so what can I do
How can I explain this to you
How?
The weight my heart carries
This words I can't convey
These feelings I can't express
Even though you saw me crying
Even though you saw me laughing
I'm so lost in my head
But I'll try no matter what

This is delicate
You know this little thing we call communicate
I have all the words of the world but
I want you to understand that my head
That myself
I am my worst enemy
I am who did this to me
That when I speak up
When my mouth opens up
When you hear my voice
Tell me if you also feel that
The floor becomes unstable
You legs can't keep up
Your whole body shakes
You feel like you're a bell
But you don't make a sound
Your palms are all sweaty and you can't hold a pen
You hands can't stop moving
You're bitting your lips
Everything
That calms your needs
And there's nothing in the world
That can stop your tears
That's when you see the world falling
When you feel you don't fit in
When you feel like you're apart
That you're not like the others

How can I explain to you that I'm not okay
I may look like it
But my heart feels like if it wanted
It would run away
That I feel like the world
Can't comprehend what I feel
That words aren't enough
When it come to this
But this little thing we call communicate
Stops before I even try

How can I explain that it wasn't easy
That saying that won't make me feel better
That this experience already happened
And that I'll never go thru the easy path again
That I'm trying to change
How it will never be easy
That I may never be like you
But this thing will not stop me
No more
How I'm sick of this
But I have to live with it
But that's okay
I'm used to it
Even if deep inside I know is sad
This is the way that I let you know
This little thing
This little issue
Won't stop me from being happy