Anxiety with a ribbon [Poetry]

"beatsbeatsbeats"

This sudden pain
it comes and goes
and I don't know
Maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm right
I recognize I lost my mind far back in time
It hurts and I can't explain why
I learned that bruises fade away
Bones grow back to it's place
Like a sudden illness
my heart why danm why?
It beatsbeatsbeats like this
Non-stop
Just a glance it's enough
I wonder why
I really wonder
We are so young
We were young back then so why now it feels so heavy
I can't just say "I don't regret had fallen in love with you"
In fact it's a lie
I regret
I regret everyday
I don't know about you
But I
Find it cute when you play the cool
I find it cute when you play the fool
I find it cute when you laugh at me
When I sing you say is horrible
But you're teasing me
You pick on your phone
You record it all
I'm seriously pissed
But I'm melted
When I do something funny you take a picture
I know you keep secret photos of me
Me too
I stumbled to get up on your skate
It's cute the face you look at me
Everything is perfect
I even remember when you hugged me
It was just a moment
But I was touched
Melted
Uncontrollable heartbeat
Then you laughed at me can I just love you and you love me?
Can we just make it simple ?
Just happiness here
I guess it's a no
So don't complain
Cause it's painful
I'm  moving away