The Bad Boy and the Nerd, Typical

The Weight of Living: Part 1

"Doll, why aren't you talking to me," Ryder pried. He poked my forehead before groaning and sinking back in his seat.

"You didn't hear, did you," I chocked out. I felt the tears brimming at my eyes as I remembered this morning.

"Hear what?" he leaned forward in his seat, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing," I shook my head, pushing off of my seat, "I gotta go."

I left just as the first tear slid down my face.

I used my sweater sleeve to wipe away the rebellious tear before twisting towards my locker. I scowled instantly, though, once I saw the marker imprinted on the dark blue painted metal. Shelby's handwriting, I was sure. I had checked many of her papers for a few teachers, and the same underlining of almost every word matched her heart shaped ends.

"Big Ass whore,

Go kill yourself. Be with daddy! Be with Sissy! We, as in the whole school, don't care how you die, but just die.

Please Consider,
People Who Actually Matter. "

I scowled and wiped it off with the side of my hand. I knew sooner or later one of Ryder's 'spies' would report to him about everything, but I couldn't get my mind off of anything. The way my heart was tightening in pain, my body panging numb under it all.

"You never answered me about what happened."

I jumped, dropping my books and letting a few curses slip my lips.

I turned to stare at Ryder, his perfect hair swept up wards, "I know."

"Then tell me," he leaned down and helped me pick up my books, "please?"

"I'm sorry, Ryder," I grabbed my books from him, "just find out yourself; just ask anyone."

"Doll," Ryder rolled his eyes, "all the people at this school don't know how to answer me correctly. Just tell me. I just want to know."

"Ask Shelby. She will tell you," with that I walked away from him, trying to stop myself from breaking.

"I will see you in a few days," Andrew gave me a slight hug, "Chelsea will be with me, don't forget."

"Ok."

"You going to be ok being alone? Not going to have anyone too bad here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Alrighty then. Good bye."

"Bye."

The moment he closed the door, I fell onto the couch slowly. My eyes stayed glued to the wall, but I was looking past it. My mind couldn't focus on a single thing.

He didn't even come see you during lunch like you were already used to. Stupid, naive girl.

After study hall at the library, he didn't even bother to look my way.

He had driven me to school, so I was left to my own defenses. I walked home in the cold air, ignoring Weasley that followed me home and stood outside for ten minuets.

"He hates me," I murmured into my hands, "because I can't just be ok."

I pushed myself off the couch. Anger pulsed through me with a million other emotions.

"I let myself get close to someone," I hissed under my breath, "and I knew I would get hurt.

"I knew I would regret ever even speaking to Ryder. I shouldn't have believed he ever actually cared about me. I should have never cared about him.