Find my courage (Pokemon fanfiction)

~47 Rainy Days

I let out a soft sigh, resting my head against the cool glass, watching the sprinkling of raindrops against the window - closing my eyes as a low rumble of thunder grumbled through the morning. Despite the long list of things that scared me, I'd never been afraid of thunder storms, I actually quite liked them. The sound, the smell and the feeling of cool air against my skin. It was just... different.

Opening my eyes agin, I glanced around the room boredly. I'd been dismissed from the hospital just under a week ago after a ten day stay. Although I needed to take small pink pills to help my heart because apparently electricity doesn't mix well with human bodies but otherwise, I'd pretty much recovered. I was still pretty tired and my neck and throat still had some issues but I wasn't struggling to breath anymore and my incessant hunger had gone with it.

N and Zyra we're talking at the small family sized table our hotel offered. Zyra had taken a brief period of time of work to come see me while I was getting better. She'd brought with her a small pile of adoption paperwork I needed to go through with her but N had voiced his opposition with the adoption- apparently he'd been planning to take me in himself, he'd just been caught up with Team Plasma. There was a massive argument about it between the two, to the point Kay had to take me out of the room due to me nearing a panic attack from the yelling. Samurai eventually stepped in, pointing out to N that Zyra was a better choice, despite having been in my life less then him due to what she could provide. Zyra owned her home, had a job that would support her forever and could offer me a stable lifestyle once I decided to settle down from my travels. N had just as much formal education as I do (none) which would make it harder for him to get a job, let alone a house, food and other necessities. Despite how much I cared for him, N could never offer me the life I craved, a life of some form of normality, Zyra could. While N had caved ain't the idea of Zyra becoming my legal guardian wi5 the comfortable life she could offer me, he had made it quite clear he still had every intention of being somewhat involved in my protection.

Gardenia sat down next to me, drawing my attention from my family for the moment. ~How are you feeling Paige?~

:I dunno.: I replied, resting my head against the cool glass. :I just, don't know what to do. I don't want to hide from him but I don't want to go through something like that ever again. It was awful... I don't want to die Gardinia:

My shiny Gardevoir lightly kissed my forehead. ~Perhaps taking a break just while you heal then is what you need?~

:I don't know... I want to see everything in the world, everything there is too see but with Ghetsis out there... I don't think I'll ever really be safe. Maybe hiding with Zyra is the safest thing. She must be a really strong trainer because she's a gym leader, Jake was almost defeated by her and she wasn't even using her strongest Pokémon.: I hugged myself tightly, looking out the window.

~The decision is yours Paige, we will follow you anywhere.~ Gardenia smiled, standing up and looking up at the clock on the wall. ~Come on little one, I'll change your bandages, then you can take your medicine.~

:Okie dokie.: I replied, hopping from my seat and following Gardenia to the room I'd been staying in. The girls and boys had seperate rooms since there were so many of us now. The five girls; myself, Milly, Kay, Jessica and Zyra were staying in a two bedroom room with a pull out lounge while the boys: N and Jake stayed next door in a smaller room.

Kay and I were sharing the room with two bed while Milly and Jessica went end to end in king sized bed next door. It was the only room big enough for all of us and I wanted as many people close to me as possible. In truth, I felt silly for being scared with everyone so close but I couldn't help it... My dreams scared me, being awake scared me, every little thing I didn't understand scared me and I hated it. I wanted to not be scared. I wanted to brave but courage just seemed so far beyond me right now, I just didn't know what to do anymore.