Find my courage (Pokemon fanfiction)

~49 Off To Mossdeep

Standing on the Lilycove Shore, I felt very much on edge being here and the prospect of leaving was one I much looked forward too as the last two days here in Lillycove, I spent thinking very deeply about something I couldn't really talk comfortably to my friends about... If I could continue with my journey after everything that happened.

For seven years, I had considered it a luxury to even step foot outside in the sun light or beneath the moon beams, to feel fresh air on my face or feel the warmth of the sun. The single day I could count on getting to see real world was my birthday in which N and I would have an all day picnic on a balcony but even that didn't start happening until after two years of captivity... After I started to struggle again after Samurai and Gardenia were given to me as even they couldn't keep me from feeling the emotional weight my new life was forever pressing down on me with its cold crush weight. After all that had happened (or lack there of) in that seven years, I just wanted to see everything the world could offer me. I wanted to see every colour, every type of flora, every species of Pokemon - everything... but with Ghetsis still pressing after me, I didn't know what to do.

Even if I wanted to see the world, I didn't feel safe enough in it... but we were so close to being finished... just two more cities with gyms for Jake and Jessica, a few more ribbons for me and Milly and Jessica (which would involve revisiting a few cities for contests we'd missed or joining their second contest of the year) and then the grand festival and then victory road and then the league - just less then two months of travel on paper.

Part of me thought it would be ridiculous to quit now, especially since Jake and Milly (A/N - my laptop doesn't recognise the name Milly lol (also, why does the us spell so many words wrong, my laptop and dyslexia are at war)) had both planned on this being their last journey so they could go back to school - most trainers didn't even do two like they had - they just traveled their home region or sometimes one other before returning to their studies as Pokemon training was really a viable carrier. This would mean I would get to see what were essentially my first new friends in years much less then what I was adjusted too.

I was lucky in the sense that Zyra had offered to fund for me to continue to travel with Kay if I chose as well as the tutoring needed to catch me up of the years of schooling I didn't have but for many of my friends, their future was undetermined. Mikayla opting out of the group home's adoption system had included her opting out of schooling it provided but as she was still under 18, they would pay for her to receive a traineeship in certain occupations but she would have to return to Unova to do it. N, like me, had no formal education. While he had received tutoring, nothing was official meaning he didn't have a lot of future options either. Jessica, while she undoubtedly had the best education among us, could not go back to her school as Nichole no longer had the means of supporting the private school nor did she want to go back as the bullying she received seemed borderline torturous to some degree, even going as far as her being molested more then once by the older kids - even if for some reason she wanted to go back, I don't think any of us would have let her after she admitted that. Kay had worked her magic quickly in the situation, calling Jessica her little bean and she would protect her too, how she could so rapidly change any mood was beyond me but it made for an awesome plot device.

As the topic of futures came up more and more, the more our group seemed divided with what to do. Jake and Milly obviously had it easy, being the ones with parents who they still had contact with and despite all my issues, I now had Zyra as a form of stability. Kay was very conflicted as although she could get a traineeship, she saw it as her responsibility to watch over me which I found it hard to argue with her about. Kay was the only witness to my kidnapping when I was 7 and it was something that she had never let leave her mind, she felt that it was my right to never have to worry about anything again and after my brush with death - she was more determined then ever not to leave my side to assure no one could hurt me. N would probably have the fewest options but Zyra was helping either get into some form of schooling or a job that would be close enough to Dewford Town that he could see me regularly. Jessica was paranoid about the idea of going back into school but Zyra agreed to help her sort something out but it would be difficult since her custody still was with her parents and any final choices when it came to school went to them, even if she managed to get a scholarship or something (I don't even know what that is but I pretended). Regardless of all this, we decided to stick together for at least the rest of the journey we had planned but not without setting a few ground rules. Myself, N and Jessica were never to be left alone in the open as we would probably be the primary targets should Ghetsis decide he wanted to come after our group again.