falling for him // ziall

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Four

Zayn’s POV

I spent the night at Harry’s and he didn’t ask anything about what was going on which was very polite of him to do. I didn’t really want to talk about anyways. I mean I was practically heart broken, my heart felt as if it was dead, but I was still alive. I felt numb and I felt torn. My lips felt cold and lonely. I just… didn’t feel like myself. It broke me to see Niall kissing another guy… It broke me even more to know that he actually deserved better. He didn’t deserve me…and to be honest he shouldn’t really be with Damien since he’s an arse… But, he deserves someone better… A better guy; a prince charming or a knight in a shining armour and sadly I’m nowhere close to that…

I went back to the dorm and Niall wasn’t there… I tried forcing myself to think that he went to Louis’ or Liam’s, but my negative side told me he obviously went to Damien’s. My jaw clenched and my fist balled up. I wonder what he did last night with Damien. I shook my head fierce fully. No, no, Niall would never cheat on me. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I trusted Niall, hell I trust him with my heart, but to think that he had such power over me to make me feel so…dead without him. Was breathtaking, I have really let myself let Niall take control over me, be my puppeteer. He was basically the decision of my heart, if my heart would be broken to pieces or if my heart had found its partner… And for now, my heart was undecided, confused, it didn’t have any idea of what was going on… I am for confused for that matter, I’m undecided and confused, and I don’t know what’s going on… I’m lost… I’m like a lost puppy, I never know what’s going on until I find Niall, he’s like my owner, I’m no longer lost without him. Just thinking about never meeting Niall or not having Niall be part of my life is unreal. I don’t understand how I survived before Niall; I don’t know what I did or how I managed to live without him. As cheesy as it sounds it’s true. He was my savior; he brought me back to life. I hadn’t really experienced what happiness was after the awful divorce… After the divorce I felt like a dead person walking on Earth. I felt numb, dull, and stiff… But, when Niall came into my life, I finally found myself again in the dark road and realized what happiness was… When I’m with Niall I’m happy… I feel happiness. I feel this rush through my veins; like adrenaline, but not really adrenaline… It’s an ecstatic feeling. It makes me feel alive. It could raise people from the dead… That’s what Niall is, Niall is my savior.

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I haven’t seen Niall all day… I was starting to get worried. It’s become a habit. When I don’t see Niall around I instantly get worried, nervous and anxious. I feel as if, if he’s not with me, he’s not safe. I get afraid for him that something may happen to him. Call me overprotective, but I’m proud, because if I wasn’t as overprotective as I am he might’ve gotten hurt at that party and hurt many more times. But, it’s been a reflex since I first saw him… I’m sure if anyone else sees him for the first time the first thing they think of is “vulnerable” that boy is vulnerable. Sure he looks vulnerable, maybe it’s his cute little blue eyes, or maybe it’s his bright blonde hair, or probably his round face. Whatever it may be, he may look vulnerable, but Niall is a tough boy. Trust me. He may be soft and mushy on the outside, but he’s hard and tough as a rock on the inside...

I waited impatiently for my second class to be over and I headed over to the third class, the class Niall and I share the class in which we got assigned to do a project that brought us back together and we ended up gaining a satisfactory B- on the project. My foot tapped against the floor as the professor dismissed us and I dashed into the third class room. I put my hand below my chin and placed my elbow on the desk. I eyed everybody entering the room and waited for my favorite blonde haired boy. I may be holding a grudge against him, but there’s not a problem being worried about him. Sure, once I see him I’m going to want to kiss him, but I know that I’ll also be heartbroken once I realized what went on… I looked at the clock, fifteen more minutes till class starts… He’s probably eating hot dogs with Lou or something, I told myself.

My phone then rang and I looked at the contact I.D ‘Maura’ my eyes narrowed, what the hell? I thought.

I silently creeped out of the room and walked onto the hall and answered.

“Hello?” I talked onto the phone.

“Zayn, how are you?” Maura greeted.

“I could be better, how about you?” I asked politely.

“Worried,” Maura said bluntly.

I knew what I had to do here, “Why are you worried?”

“How have you and Niall been, Zayn,” Maura asked me.

I walked onto the little park and took a seat on one of the benches, “Well…Um…Him and Damien have been talking and well…”

I sighed a bit too heavily onto the phone and bit my lip, “Well...I walked in on them kissing…? And Damien has this plan of winning him back and… I don’t know Maura, I just don’t…. I just feel like he deserves better you know… But, I’m just pissed that him and Damien are talking again, Maura”

“You’re pissed that I and Damien are talking?” This time it wasn’t Maura’s voice it was Niall’s.

I looked back, sure as hell it was Niall. “I have to go, I’m sorry,”

I hung up on Maura and stood up and walked towards Niall. It was unreal. Like a dream. Seeing Niall again… I missed his luscious, full, pink lips paired with those beautiful, pearly, white teeth. I just don’t want to fight anymore; I also don’t want to be such a jealous, selfish dumbass…

Niall shook his head slowly in disbelief, “You’re such a stupid, brainless, twat sometimes, Zayn. He was my first love, don’t you understand that?”

I stood there gaping and nodded not trusting my voice. Each insult his lips threw at me tore me apart. Like he was ripping me apart like a piece of paper.

“I’m sorry Zayn, but it’s very selfish of you to be going around, getting jealous about things that I didn’t even do. Don’t you understand that I never kissed Damien?!” Niall was practically yelling at me. Thank God, classes have begun that no one had to be here to view this scene that was tearing me apart, “I. Never. Kissed. Damien. Get that through your head, Zayn. Also, why the hell would you call my mom and complain to her? Don’t ever put my mom in the middle of our relationship, that’s so immature!”

A single tear slipped out of my eye. Niall was definitely not doing a good job at being a savior or a puppeteer. You’re not supposed to do this to anyone. Who would’ve thought a guy like me who looks so tough in the outside can get so heartbroken over foolish words…

Niall’s eyes seem to have a little sadness once he saw the tear fall from my eye, but then he went back with his raised voice, “Look, I never hooked up with Damien. I never kissed him. I never did anything close to cheating on you with him. He broke my heart, Zayn. I’m never going back to a douche. But, to think that you don’t trust me yet, hurts me more than any other words could. It breaks me to think I still haven’t gained your trust…”

Niall looked at me with pained eyes and looked down, he walked away silently and I stayed in spot crying quietly.

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A/N: Updating before bed because I love you guys! :) Anyways, tomorrow's my first day at school omg. sighhhhhh. Thanks for the good lucks. Because I need them... seriously. Anyways, I hate school and just want to be home-schooled because you don't need to socialize and you can be weird and no one gives af. Anywhoo, here you all go. ♥ Thanks for reading and being awesome. Someone also gave me some great ideas in the comments on the last chapter that I think would be great and I think they know who they are (if not awk) so guuuurl you best prepare and hold on to your seatbelt because we're going down a bumpy road ;D So, don't expect any updates because homework and school... sighhhh. I'll try to update on the weekends and Wednesdays :) I love you guys thanks for reading, commenting, voting and fanning. I actually prefer reading your guy's feedback instead of voting jsss ;D Anyways, thanks for reading bye. :) [[I know you don't like mean Niall, but everyone gets a bit pissed every once in a while...This is Niall's turn to let some steam out]]