Clara Shelby

Chapter 1

The cold air bites my skin as I watch them from a distance, close enough to know who is speaking but not to hear what they are saying. The red flag flowing in the wind makes me nervous and reminds me that they are not the only ones here. It's a sombre affair, and even know I barely knew the man they have just buried I feel their loss. I know a little, my name was enough encouragement for people to tell me what they knew during my long journey here. As they slowly walk away from the grave, I begin my approach. I'm not sure who I want to see first but I do know who I don't want to see me. I am hopeful that they will recognise me straight away, despite the troubles I have been through the past few years. I spot two of them stray from the crowd and I know this is where I need to begin.

I carefully follow the path that leads me to them, wary of the sharp stones on my bare feet. I stop suddenly as they appear not ten meters away, both too deep in conversation to notice my presence. "Arthur! John!"
I yell my voice strained from not using it for several days. Both of their heads snap up, confusion briefly crosses Arthur's face but the smile I receive with from John as he runs towards relieves me. "Clara!"
John runs into me and upon impact lifts me into the air and wraps his arms around me in a tight bear hug. Over John's shoulder I see Arthur's frozen face as he has his lightbulb moment. I am a little put out that he doesn't instantly recognise me but I prepared myself that it might happen. John lets me down, his voice still raised from excitement
"I can't believe you're here!" he exclaims as we walk back to Arthur with his arm wrapped around my shoulder as if he is scared that if he lets go, I'll disappear.

John ruffles my hair before releasing me to Arthur.
"You've grown up," he whispers still seeming shocked.
"And you've grown old," I laugh.
He smiles as he pulls me in for a hug, "Still the same old Clara," he confirms. Its not long before I feel eyes burning into the back of my head, I quickly turn to be met with bright blue orbs and turn back just as quickly. John wraps his arm around my shoulder as they lead me towards a crowd. I have so much I want to ask them but I just don't know where to begin.
"Tommy will be happy to see you," Arthur tells me just as we reach the crowd and I am glad I don't have time to react. I am introduced to John's wife Esme and their children, Ada's son Karl and reunited with several familiar faces. For a brief moment I forget my worries as I am surrounded by people from my past who loved me then. I hope that my time away hasn't changed their feelings. I am hugged and kissed as I am passed among relatives and friends, I completely forget that this is a funeral and it seems like they do too.

That is until I spot the three of them, standing alone separated from the crowd. My eyes meet Ada's and my heart breaks for her, she takes a step towards me and I am quick to close the gap between us and embrace her.
"I am so sorry," I whisper as we hold onto each other and it feels like no time has passed between us. I am aware of her tears as she pulls away before I become aware of own.
"I've missed you," she smiles. I nod and hug her again unable to find the words. The woman has just buried her husband I cannot begin to imagine the pain that she is in. She nods, holding strong and walks away to where Karl is crying behind us.

Polly is next to greet me, she puts her hand under my chin so that my eyes meet hers. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest as I anticipate her reaction. Her eyes are cold and give away nothing and I am reminded of the times she would do this when I was a child. There was no way of telling whether she was going to scold me or praise me. The corner of her mouth turns up into small grin. "Its been too long," she says simply as she briefly embraces me and steps back. A cough comes from behind her as its owner makes his presence known. Not that he needs to I have been aware of his eyes on me since I arrived. Polly looks back towards him, no words are passed but they come to an agreement, this is something that I am all too familiar with. She smiles my way again and walks towards the crowd leaving us alone.

I am suddenly self-conscious as his eyes slowly take in my appearance. I knew he wouldn't be able to see past it. No one else noticed. I am scared, skinny and covered in dirt from my long journey here. He seems cold and distant and I begin to panic, are all the stories true? Has he changed that much since France?
"The fuck are you doing here?" he asks his expression still cold. I don't know what to do, what to say. The man in front of me looks like the one I once knew but so far, he has not acted like him. Upon seeing the fright and confusion on my face his whole demeaner changes, his eyes brighten, his smile grows and he captures me in his arms before I am able to process the change.
"By God have I missed you Clara," he shouts gaining cheers from the crowd walking away. "My little sister all grown up," He smiles as he puts me down right in front of him. His expression straightens again as he studies my face, I have never been more aware of every bruise and scar on my body as I am in this moment. I don't know how he'll react, from the stories about him I expect him to lash out but my Tommy, my protector and brother gently traces a bruise on my face causing me to flinch in pain. "Who did this to you?" he asks, his voice cracking. It is in this question that I know I haven't lost him like I had feared, he is still my Tommy.

A voice getting increasingly louder grabs our attention "Tommy," it shouts over and over again on his way over to us. The man is pink from running and shouting but there is worry clearly sketched on his face.
"It's the Garrison," he man says, quickly looking from me back to Tommy, "It burned down." Tommy expression falters and nods at the stranger to dismiss him, he looks at me searching for the right thing to do him.
"Later," I promise him, everything he wants to know I will tell him but this clearly needs dealt with now.
"Later." Tommy replies nodding, his eyes taking me in one more time before running in the direction the man came from. He doesn't turn but I hear him clearly as he shouts "Its good to have you back," still running away from me. Even though things are still far from perfect right now, for the first time in a long time, I feel real genuine hope that things might be.