I Want to Write You a Song

Just A Little Bit of Your Heart

Morning comes, and Louis curses under his breath. Sunlight streams in through the window urging him to take on another day.

He stretches out his limbs, which emit a series of painful cracks. As he sits up, he's overwhelmed by a throbbing headache. Probably from dehydration, he thinks.

Louis sighs, and forces himself to stand. He's wobbly on his legs as he digs around the room looking for a water bottle.

He isn't doing a very thorough search though, because he doesn't even let himself look at anything he's touching as he digs around the mess. Even still, his chest tightens for a moment when his hands graze what he's sure are Harry's favorite pair of jeans.

Were Harry's favorite pair of jeans.

It's too much, it's all too much. Louis is weak, and so tired. He gives up, and collapses onto the bed for the first time all week.

Big mistake.

The sheets smell so strongly of Harry, that Louis' eyes begin to well up. The sight of a stray curly brown hair on the pillowcase pushes him over the edge.

He finally breaks down, for the first time fully starting to process what's happened. It finally feels real, and Louis has never hurt worse.

Sobs wrack frail his body, and Louis doesn't fight them. He doesn't anyone he has to be strong for anymore. He weeps loudly into Harry's baby blue pillowcase.

The scent of Harry's vanilla shampoo hits him like a train, making him choke for air and clutch his stomach.

"Fuck... this hurts... Haz... I... miss you baby... still... I still... need you."

His words are muffled by the pillow, but it doesn't really matter, does it? Nobody's listening.

--------------------

The door creaks open, and Louis cringes at the sight of his three band mates.

"Hey Louis," Zayn says softly, "Nialler made pancakes if you want some."

...

...

"Okay...well," he coughs, clearly struggling to find the right words. "We've got something else for you, Lou."

Lou.

This gets his attention alright. Louis glares at him with so much venom, Zayn worries Louis might get up and bite him.

"Sorry, I mean Louis. I didn't mean to..." His cheeks heat up and he stumbles on his words.

...

"So you're just gonna ignore us then?" Liam says, clearly running low on patience. Truth be told he isn't entirely sober. Nobody was taking Harry's death well.

Louis doesn't answer, he just buries his face back in what used to be Harry's pillowcase.

Liam lets out an inaudible growl. "Come one lad, we're trying to help you here."

That does it. Louis' head snaps up and his gaze is so cold, it's a miracle Liam doesn't shiver.

"I never asked for your fucking help," he croaks. "Please, go."

"Louis..."

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" He's shaking now, and can't quite catch his breath. "Seriously! Get the fuck out!"